


The dog, the Vulcan and the Corona virus

by BrittaR (Taaya)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alien Pets, COVID-19, F/M, Mild Blood, Slow Burn, Time Travel, guardian of forever - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 33,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taaya/pseuds/BrittaR
Summary: Inspired by a tumblr post.Spock and you end up back in the 21st century ... and in a global pandemic. Faced with lockdown you have to find a way to get through this - and do your job at the same time.
Relationships: Spock/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this 

Inspired by [this](https://nikkzwrites.tumblr.com/post/612892595951206400/does-anyone-wanna-write-a-spock-x-reader)

* * *

„Now this was the stupidest idea ever“, you complained, carrying a massive pack of toilet paper through the front door. The streets outside were deserted. That made your job no easier. 

„Buying a necessary product to keep our hygiene at an acceptable level?“ 

You rolled your eyes, hoping that Spock was actually just teasing you and not that ignorant of your situation. But Vulcans didn’t tease, did they? 

„No. Going to the past to stop a teeny, tiny, harmless, fire breathing alien pet from making first contact before time and ending up in a nationwide quarantine because of a freaking virus. Can’t we just go back to the Enterprise, get vaccinated and come back here?“ 

„We cannot be sure that a vaccine was found at all. It is possible that humanity just developed an immunity to the virus over time, causing it to go extinct. And if that is the case, this immunity could have been lost in the last 240 years. Do you wish to infect your fellow crewmates?“ 

You shook your head. Of course that wasn’t what you wanted. 

„Furthermore even if we were to get vaccinated, there is still a curfew in place. How will you explain breaking the current law? We are not to be exposed.“ 

Of course Spock was right. Not to mention that a man with pointed ears and strangely shaped brows was more likely to stick out like a sore thumb when there was close to no one on the streets. Hence your little shopping trips. He was not to go out under any circumstances at the moment. 

„But how are we supposed to find that freaking dog, if we can’t go looking for it, Sir?“ Cursing in front of your superior officer was usually frowned upon, but you had to loosen the rules a bit, after sharing a flat with him for more than just a few days. 

“As long as close to nobody is outside, there is only a low risk of exposure. At the moment it might be enough to browse the news sites for strange sightings”, Spock replied, gesturing towards the computer. 

The same computer that had been your only source of money in the last few days. You answered surveys for companies trying to find out which products might sell and wrote marketing texts. Spock earned more. He had majored in computer science, so coding websites and apps was no problem for him, at least, once he had gotten the hang of this primitive coding languages. He earned enough for your living, even in this dire times. 

„And if that thing encounters people and they talk to the media?“ How could he be so calm about this? 

„We know for a fact that there have been more non-terrestrial lifeforms on earth than just this one, at all times. I myself have been one of them. Humans tend to overlook what they do not believe to be possible. And the few that do believe there is more out there than commonly known, are usually discredited. The situation at hand is of advantage for us, because the fewer people see what we are looking for, the easier their testimony can be ridiculed.“ 

You knew he was right. But at the same time, he was wrong. While right now the risk of damaging the timeline was low, you were stuck and couldn’t finish your job. A job that you didn’t even start, mind you. 

It wasn’t your fault that the scientists now working with the Guardian of Forever had founded a small scientific outpost on the planet. It hadn’t been your fault that they brought with them their families. It certainly was not your fault that one of them was a xenobiologist who happened to have crossbred an Alfa 177 canine with a doglike creature that was able to breathe fire. And keep the product of this experiment as a pet - among others. And had a daughter who had played with said pet and set it free – among others. 

It even wasn’t your fault that when this beast escaped, historians were just exploring the early 21st century on earth. You hadn’t asked for any of it. You just happened to be on board of the Enterprise who had just been the closest ship nearby when the call for help came. Because of course the historians couldn’t handle the situation themselves. They were too few to chase after all the creatures that managed to jump to different years and different continents. And now here you were. Stuck in a european city in early 2020. When all you had to do was capture a fire breathing, horned beast and bring it back as soon as possible to keep the timeline clear of any disturbance. 

Just. Great. 


	2. Chapter 2

It had begun like a normal mission. You had been called to a briefing room where you had been handed clothes.

_ “Luckily this time we know what we’re doing”, Kirk said. “We roughly know the time where each team has to look for their specific animal and we can give you the necessary clothes so you won’t look too suspicious. We also faked passports for you, so you won’t end up locked in jail for … espionage or whatever people of those days might think of foreigners.”  _

_ You were astonished by how many people were there. But even more by the multitude of styles of clothes. “Sir, are we going to different points in time?”, you asked, before you could stop yourself. _

_ Thankfully Kirk didn’t think that you were speaking out of turn. “Indeed, Ensign L/N.” He smiled lightly. “We have a hell lot of animals to catch. And unfortunately they haven’t been so kind to travel in packs. Which means they all jumped to different times. We can’t send too many people together. We don’t know how long it takes to find the animals. It’s easier not to draw attention if we only need to find housing for few people at a time. Also …" Kirk smirked a little. “This is the perfect opportunity for our younger, less experiences crew members to learn their first lessons in a landing party. So I’m going to send down teams of one experiences and one young crew member each. There’s not much danger down there this time. Don’t step on any butterflies, don’t fall in love with your great grandparents and don’t do anything spectacular that you’ll end up in the news. Don’t save any lives, don’t kill anyone. That’s about all it takes.” _

You had been chosen to go with Commander Spock to somewhere in 2020, which was fine. You didn’t know much about the time, but the History department assures you there would be a communications network providing you with everything you needed to find the dog as quickly as possible.

If only they had done a bit more research about those times. It had started out fine enough. The Captain, who had already made a trip into the past, using the Guardian, had given all teams the advice to first get settled. “Travelling this way is not always on point. You might arrive weeks or months earlier than your target. Which is what we’re aiming for, because arriving late just won’t do the job. So find yourselves a small apartment first. The money we provide you with, should give you a head start, but it is possible that you will have to find yourselves a job, to sustain yourselves long enough to finish your task.”

Finding a flat had not been as easy as you had thought. All over the world the rents had gone up a lot, you had learned, and the market was strained enough without you being there. It had taken all your strength not to ask why the state didn’t provide their citizens with free housing and why they actually still thought that capitalism was the right system, when they all already felt the disadvantages and shortcomings of it. But who knew who might be listening. You didn’t want to be the one changing history by causing a revolution. And thankfully soon enough you found a furnished flat. There was mould almost everywhere on the walls, which made it so cheap. But Spock assured you he knew an easy formula to clean the flat from it – and he didn’t lie. So soon enough you were settled.

And then all hell broke loose.

You had heard about this virus in China, but you hadn’t expected it to cross borders. That was what these borders were for, weren’t they? What else would the world still need national states for, now that they had already made their first steps into space, if not to be able to prevent local disaster from spreading?

But no, the virus spread and led to something you had never seen before: racism. Sure, you had heard about the dark times, when there had been racist governments. But this close to the First Contact? Surely those times had to be long over, right? Unfortunately not. All around you, people of Asian descent were being frowned upon. People would cross the street if they saw them coming, and they didn’t go shopping in Asian shops. Which – later on – would prove useful for you, as you could stock up there. 

Even that was just the calm before the storm came. Soon the virus had crossed the borders and began spreading all over the world. And the world reacted. Lockdown. You were only supposed to go outside for necessities like buying food and … well … toilet paper, which soon was rare to get.

But if that hadn’t been bad enough, you were also stuck inside a small flat with your commanding officer.


	3. Chapter 3

It had only taken a week for you to reach a point where you were completely and utterly annoyed. Not so much by Spock. The situation itself was what drove you nuts. But being locked in with Spock instead of a … more human person didn’t exactly help. 

„Could you sit down ?“, his dark voice startled you.

You hadn’t noticed that you were pacing again.  And not only that, you were doing it in the living room, behind his desk – mainly because your bedroom was too small to pace. Also, it wasn’t night so you were on duty, which meant locking yourself up in your makeshift quarters was against work ethics. Too bad Spock already told you that he would prefer you would NOT pace where he was trying to work.  But what else were you supposed to do with that nervous energy of yours? How else were you supposed to keep your muscles in shape , either? You had no gym in your flat – and it wouldn’t fit  anyway – and all you could do was using your own body mass to sustain your fitness. Also, the rhythmic  sound of his fingers on the keyboard was slowly getting to you. That was like a leaking tap at night, slowly dripping single drops of water into the sink.  Just quicker, more. And audible even when you were trying to sleep, through the closed door. Because Vulcans didn’t need as much sleep as humans did. At least Spock had said so. But that meant there was no escaping the sound of his fingers, always rushing across the keyboard.

“No.” It slipped through your lips quicker than you could think. You bit your tongue, but too late. The word had escaped you. You begged he wouldn’t see this as insubordination. Mutiny. Anything else worth being court-martialled.

The constant typing stopped and Spock turned around, looking at you. If only he didn’t arch this freaking brow of his. While on the Enterprise you would think it funny, here this was his reaction to almost anything and you wished, you could punch the brow back to where it belonged. Of course you hadn’t lost control over yourself that badly, that you would attack a fellow officer. Yet. 

“You seem to be experiencing a stressful episode.” Not a question. Not an accusation either. Why could he stay so calm?

“Of course I am. What do you think? Locked inside this hellhole with no means of communication to the ship.”  Again your mouth worked quicker than your brain. 

“As a starship officer you are always locked in close quarters with no communications to anyone outside your shared space , unless we are close to a subspace relay. Why would you act different now?”

How would he know if you acted different than on the ship? You had close to nothing to do with Spock when you were on board. He was too far up the ranks to have to deal with a low ensign that didn’t work on the bridge. Not that you minded. That was just the way it was and one day you might be in his position, not having much time to get to know all those lieutenants and ensigns below you.

Still it was different, being here. “On board there are 400 other people you can meet. You could spend a whole life on board and there’d always be somebody new you could get to  know, thanks to all those transfers.” You took a deep breath to calm yourself. “Also, there’s always something you can do or see. You have to work 8 hours, which ... I would pay money for to be able right now. Then there is the gym, there’s the mess hall, there are new planets to get to know. Here ... we have nothing. I mean, sure, we have the computer. But you’re typing almost 24/7, so I can’t even bore my brain out watching this silly shows they stream.” There was a television in the same room. But Spock had made clear that the constant noises didn’t help him concentrate and the cable wasn’t long enough to take the damn thing with you into your room. Also the information and entertainment in this  era of television were of even less quality than what you could find online ,  except maybe for the daily updates on the pandemic . 

Spock looked at you without any sign of understanding. Which annoyed you even more. “How can you stay calm in a situation like this. Don’t Vulcans need anything social in their lives? Don’t they ever get bored or restless?”

He kept quiet for a while, his dark eyes without any sign of inner turmoil. Oh, how you wished, you could be that way. Or at least hide your emotions that well.

“Perhaps it would be best to teach you Vulcan techniques to calm one’s mind”, Spock finally said, keeping his eyes on you as if he tried to find out if you were even up to it. He didn’t answer your question though. Not really. If he could tell you that he was perfectly calm and needed nothing and nobody, thank you very much, he would have done so. So his silence spoke volumes. And you felt awful for having confronted him the way you did. But hold on. What did he just say?

“You wanna teach me meditation and stuff?” In a way you couldn’t believe he even considered it. At the moment you certainly didn’t look like the type of person who could sit on their bottom and just breathe, though perhaps on the Enterprise you might consider doing it from time to time after a stressful day.

“It might ease your restlessness and therefore help me concentrate on earning our living and finding the dog.” 

“Or you could … let me use the computer a little more often, so I could find the dog or fill out more surveys?” It was worth a try, though you knew he had the better arguments. That, and you weren’t sure if working longer hours really helped calming you down. You’d have less hours to freak out, but would that really help stopping you from freaking out altogether?

„ While I appreciate your effort to earn our living,  I am more qualified in computer science. My work also earns us more money than yours. It is therefore only logical that I shall be the one using the computer.“

He was right.  Spock earned more in a day than you could make in a month of taking surveys.  But: “What is the reason for my existence, then?” You didn’t mean to sound so melodramatic. You didn’t even mean to ask in general. It just slipped out like this. “What am I to do, Commander? What is my purpose? I mean, I appreciate your offer. But meditation is nothing … important for the mission.”

Spock was still looking at you with that endless calmness in his eyes. It made them look warm and not as aloof and cold as Vulcans usually appeared to be. You wondered if that was part of his human heritage or if Vulcans were just misunderstood. If beyond all that logic and rationality was inner peace that felt soft and warm to them. If their behaviour was just part of their emotional control and not a reflection of their inner state.

“I understand that not having a task to fulfil can be … somewhat unnerving. But keep in mind that at the moment I cannot leave the flat. You are of use. Without you I would neither have food nor toilet paper.” For a moment his mimics shifted. You wondered if he disliked the paper as well. Waterless sonics were much less wasteful while not adding a certain discomfort of cold wetness to the act of using the toilet like the bidets of this time did. But sonic technology of that range had not yet been invented – and earth’s power plants were way too primitive to sustain even more technology anyway. At least if one didn’t want to change the climate too fast. So the paper was really all you had.

“But only going grocery shopping once a week isn’t enough to keep a person occupied”, you said. You were feeling better, now that he reminded you that of course you were useful. Because you were. Outside he could wear a hat or a beanie, but what if the police stopped him to ask him what he was doing? What if they noticed his ears? At the moment, where everybody could end up being checked by the police, this was a risk you simply could not take. You, on the other hand, were as human as a person could be. And you assumed that your fake ID was done well enough that nobody would notice anything off. Not if you didn’t do anything illegal that forced them to look you up on whatever database they might use for their citizens.

Still ... “Please give me something to do. Anything. Humans are just not made for this. We need to  socialize . To get exposed to new stimuli.”

Spock nodded. “I will try to find new ways to keep you occupied. As your commanding officer, your well-being is part of my duty.” The last sentence sounded as if he rather wanted to remind himself of that point. Maybe because that meant that he had no choice but to humour your fragile human psyche, as illogical as it might be. “For the moment, I would still like to teach you the basics of Vulcan meditation to ease your mind for a while.” He gestured you to sit on the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Spock sat down in front of you, facing you.  He kneeled, but when you tried to copy him, your knees started to hurt.

„ The human body does not react well to kneeling. You might prefer to sit cross-legged. But whichever position you like should be acceptable. In the end, meditation is a state of mind, not body.“

And so you shifted around until you found a position which seemed comfortable enough to keep it for a prolonged time.

„Close your eyes“, Spock  ordered. Or suggested? What was the difference anyway? „Usually I would have some  help. Incense. An open flame inside of a little  … you might call it shrine. But without my equipment, we will have to find another way. Have you ever lit a candle?“

It wasn’t necessary in modern times. Even if there was a blackout, there were enough flashlights with  long-lasting power cells one could use. But  still you couldn’t picture any human being that never lit a candle, if for a birthday cake or  other family or religious reasons. Or for romantic dinners? „I have.“

„Then you know what an open flame looks like. Picture it now. Picture it in your mind and concentrate all your thoughts on its light. Its warmth.“

When you opened your eyes, an hour had passed. Spock was already typing again, and you … had no idea what had happened. You had just looked at a flame for a minute, right? How could an hour pass without you noticing it? But you felt calmer. Not calm. Just not as buzzing as before.

“Did I fall asleep?” You asked. Then, with widened eyes: “Oh gosh, don’t tell me I snored.”

“If you had, I would have stopped the noise”, Spock replied calmly. “But no. You did not sleep. I assume you had a successful meditation?”

“... I assume...” It was still hard to believe that time could escape you when you meditated. That you obviously didn’t notice the turn of the world around you. But you wouldn’t complain. That had been the best hour since the lockdown. Even better than going out for groceries - which was fun, because it meant you could walk around and look at all those old-fashioned buildings, vehicles and machineries out there. Like a living, breathing museum, but without old, stiff guys guiding you around and explaining everything in a monotonous voice that made everything dull.

“Good. If you would like, you could now use the computer for some time. I first need to gather some ideas. As primitive as programming websites in this era is, drafting a design concept is not. It seems, humans always had a preference for the … rather odd colour combinations.”

It was hard, not to laugh. Spock had to do designs as well? You hadn’t even thought about that being part of websites. You had seen a few sites of this era and you didn’t envy him for that work. If they all wanted sliders and either dark – and only dark – or bright colours with as much pink as possible, well ... Poor Spock, honestly. You’d get a headache looking at something like that for more than a few minutes.

“If you need help, though ... I mean, I am human. Not from this time, sure, but …" You shrugged.

“I appreciate the offer. Perhaps I might ask for your opinion, once I have drafted a few concepts.”

With that he took a notebook and a few coloured pencils you had bought him when you first settled here, and went into his own bedroom, leaving you to reign over the computer.

Finally. What would you do first? Look at social media to find the dog? Fill out a few surveys?

When Spock emerged from his room again, he found you deep inside ‘The best of cats vs. Christmas trees’. Well, maybe entertainment in this era wasn’t that bad, really.


	5. Chapter 5

The doorbell rang. A sound you hadn’t heard once since you had moved in.

“Are we expecting somebody?”, you asked. Oh, what a silly question. As if Spock would ask anyone over. Not only was it not allowed at the moment,  thanks to that  fricking virus,  it was also too risky given who, or rather what he was. The whole purpose of you going shopping was that nobody was supposed to see Spock’s ears. Well, that, and that there were no grocery delivery spots open until September. And right now it was March. So somebody had to go.

Spock didn’t even bother to answer, but went into his bedroom straight away,  to hide,  while you went to the front door.

A man in a uniform was standing there, around six feet away. It took you a few milliseconds to understand that he was part of some postal service. He pointed down to your feet and when you looked down, there was a parcel in front of you. Oh, was he standing six feet away because of the virus? And not going away until he successfully delivered the parcel? Now, that was a clever system. This way he could be sure you got your mail, while he didn’t need to come close and maybe get infected. Still, you preferred delivery drones and transporters from your own age.

“Thank you”, you nodded to him and he went down the stairs without a single word. Poor guy. Sure, running from house to house and risking to get in contact with an infected person was better than being without job, like so many were right now. But that didn’t really make it a nice job either, did it?

You took the parcel and went back inside, closing the door behind you. “Commander? Did you order anything online?” Neither of you had until today. It had been hard enough to get a bank account and each payment  online, where there were more safety steps until you could finally check out,  made it more likely that somebody paid a little too much attention on the ID you had to open your account with. So you had agreed to keep online shopping to a minimum, which meant, right now, that you didn’t buy anything at all online – except for one gift card for your local super market, because it had taken a few days for your bank card to arrive and you had to get stocked.

“Open it.” Spock had come back from his room. 

Was that an order? You weren’t sure. Worse, you couldn’t detect anything in his voice that would give Spock away. Was he worried you had been noticed? Was he looking forward to this parcel? Anxious this could be some kind of bomb? This was the age of people sending bombs with the post, right?  But then again why would anyone? In this house nobody earned much money. Otherwise they would not move into such a  moldy , dusty place.  People who didn’t earn money didn’t have enemies that evil, did they?  And even if they had, why would you be attacked instead of them?

Slowly you peeled off the tape  that held the parcel  together  and opened  the cardboard box. Inside was a  laminated small chip and another box with a communications device of the current time printed upon it.

You turned to Spock and looked at him quizzically.

„ This is what they call a smartphone. It has access to the internet and allows you to assist me in searching for the dog without me moving away from the computer. Furthermore you can now watch this … how did you call it?“

„Cat content.“ You blushed. It was a bit embarrassing that you’d become a victim of this age. In Academy you once had heard about this phenomenon and you all had made fun about it. How could one waste their time looking at cats that pushed stuff of a table? Well, now you knew that spending hours upon hours only browsing pictures and videos of cats was ... rather easy to do. 

„Without interrupting my work ”, he went on with his sentence. “ I thought it unwise to sign a contract,  that would both need an ID and a certain amount of time to cancel before we leave. Therefore I  also bought a SIM card that already comes with  some  money  on it  for your use.  But within the flat you have access to the WiFi , therefore I am not sure if you even need any money .“

You blinked. Spock  bought you something to occupy yourself with?  Had you been that annoying? But then another thought struck you. Maybe he was just nicer than he usually showed. Maybe he actually cared for you, enough to help you  get through this.

And this phone was helpful. When you were in the shop, you could call this flat‘s landline to ask Spock what kind of substitute he preferred for an item that wasn’t on stock at the moment.  Like last time, when there had been no berries of any kind and you had bought bananas – which actually were berries, too, weren’t they? But it turned out that bananas  contained too much sugar for Vulcans.  Now  you could just call him, instead of eating all those bananas on your own.

„Do you not like it?“

Oh. You still hadn’t said a single word about the phone. Now you were blushing even  more. „I love it. I really do. But do we have the money to spare ?“

„I bought one of the  less expensive phones that still had good ratings. Hopefully we will not stay here for long and I thought it  unnecessary to spend too much money on it. But yes, we can afford it.  Especially if this helps browsing the internet for our reason of being here.“

You grinned. You knew exactly what he meant. Social media. Spock himself preferred newspaper websites , old-fashioned forums and blogs. He said not even the years at the  Starfleet Academy on Earth could have prepared him for the absolute illogic of social media.  He once found himself playing  a game called Candy Something, because he thought it was necessary to still be allowed to use a social platform. It turned out one of his spam friends had just sent him an invitation for the game . And Spock had just clicked on the notification and found himself bombarded by colours and sounds.

If it hadn’t been so funny, you would have pitied him. But it was kinda cute to see one of the most intelligent people you‘d ever had the honour to know be completely helpless, just because in your time social media was a bit less overwhelming. Oh, it was still quick and there were still games one could play with friends. But they didn’t just pop up. And you could decide if you wanted to get game notifications at all when you signed up – which you assumed Spock did. If he ever did sign up in your time, that is.

„Right. I’ll browse Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and so on“, you agreed.  Maybe you could even set yourself some kind of alarm if anyone posted something about your dog?  Though you weren’t sure how exactly. Dog was too broad a search term. And you had tried alien once, which resulted in countless articles about the movie with that name.  But you would think of something. All that mattered right now was that Spock had thought of you and helped you to ease your restlessness.

You stepped closer to him and pecked his cheek. „Thank you, Commander. I’ll go to work then.“

With that you left him standing baffled.


	6. Chapter 6

Thankfully your new phone arrived with a charger and a cable – but also with headphones. Which meant you could listen to music while filling out surveys and looking for the dog. And after your ‘shift’ - because Spock ordered you not to work longer than 8 hours per day, just like on board – you could watch movies and silly videos on Youtube. 

Unfortunately it didn’t help against your feeling of social isolation. You missed your friends on the Enterprise .  In this time period you didn’t know anyone and you couldn’t just use social media to find new  friends. You weren’t allowed to change  the past, which meant that even  comforting somebody  you met online could lead to  unforseeable damage. If your soft words saved somebody’s life,  the future could change drastically. And if one day you just went home and your online friends would try to find out where you’d gone? No, it was just too risky.

Which meant you only had Spock to satisfy your social needs.

At first, when you had moved in, but even after the lockdown was decided, both of you had cooked your meals separately. You ate meat while he couldn’t or wouldn’t consume dead animals of any kind and therefore chose not prepare them either – or rather you chose not to ask him to, as it seemed insensitive , not to mention unnecessary .  And he , on the other hand, had to look out for specific minerals in his meals, which meant you couldn’t cook for him as  you really didn’t know much about what exactly he needed and letting him teach you would have cost more time than him preparing his meals himself.

Also you needed more food and more often, so both of you had started cooking and eating in your own time , rarely being in the kitchen at the same time.

But  soon you shifted from your usual routine and started preparing as many of your meals when he was cooking his. If Spock minded, he didn’t say so. In fact, maybe he felt quite the opposite way about it...

You were just making yourself lunch. Usually at this point you had already worked five hours, so you needed a little break before going back to work, but you never prepared anything big. A simple sandwich with bacon and salad perhaps. And of course a cup of your favourite  21th century beverage. Not that  most  drinks were much different than the ones you had in the 23 rd century. Except for tea. Tea was much better in this time compared to on a starship that simply couldn’t transport as many tea leaves as needed to always prepare it ‘freshly’. Like some of the ice cream, tea was provided by the computer, using the same principle of matter manipulation that the transporter used to put the people back together. Just that with food the computer used matter and energy to produce something non-living. Something that could be reproduced as often as you liked as long as there still was the necessary pattern of molecules saved in the database. 

But that was exactly how it tasted. Artificial. Not bad, but just not quite the real thing. Therefore you were far from astonished that Spock had taken a liking to the tea you brought home. What astonished you, though, was when he came in during your lunch time, to make himself a cup. He had never taken a lunch break before. 

You looked up and smiled at him, before you turned to your sandwich again. This way you only noticed him sitting down when the cup lightly scratched along the surface of the table.

Again you looked at him. “Bad day?”

He arched a brow. Of course he did. “What makes you think so?”

“Well, you never take a real break around lunch.”

“I do not need three meals a day. The Vulcan body evolved in the desert, where it learned to sustain itself with less nutrition than the human body.”

You rolled your eyes. He had told you the same thing at least once a day since you arrived. “See. And that’s why I ask you if you had a bad day. We humans crave food or additional coffee or tea if we had an emotionally straining experience or if we  realize that our workload is unusually high.” Really, did you honestly have to explain that? How long had he been serving with humans now?

Spock looked at you unblinkingly for what felt like hours, than asked: „Is my presence unwanted?“

You frowned. Spock had come here to give you company? That didn’t sound right. Why would he do something as social as that? But then again why would he buy you a smartphone? Maybe there were some pretty good logical reasons behind all this. And who were you to complain? “No. Not at all, actually. Just … you never seemed to like company before.”

“Vulcans do not have such high a need for social interactions. But as desert dwellers we naturally evolved to live in groups as well. Social behaviour was necessary to stay alive and fight of dangerous predators. In the desert groups had to be small, because an oasis cannot sustain many people at the same time, but solitary existence in my society is  seldomly wanted outside of spiritual occasions and rites of passage.” 

So many words to tell you that he began to feel lonely, too? You had to bite back a smile. Somehow that was cute. “Feel free to join me whenever you like. You know, we could also do TV night, every now and then.” Or was that too much to ask for?

“I find the human entertainment lacking a certain …" Spock looked as if he were searching for a specific word. 

“Logic?”

“No. Lack of logic is to be expected. These humans still believe in national states and capitalism. They have not yet reached a deeper understanding of what is necessary to further develop as a species. How can one expect them to be capable of any kind of logical thinking. Especially since even in the 23 rd century mankind still prefers to be reigned by emotions.” Something gleamed in his eyes. Was he teasing you? “But one would expect their entertainment media to reflect on how far they have already come. Yet most shows seem to be addressed only to a non-informed and non-educated audience. They lack any intellectual stimuli.”

You smiled. “Well, on the one hand that’s necessary in general to not exclude anyone. I don’t recall much of the history classes I had at the Academy. But if I remember correctly, some people don’t have access to proper education back in this time. Not only because of capitalism, but in some countries there are no basic curricula that have to be taught by every single school. So religious schools can still teach them that evolution doesn’t exist, for example.” Finally history classes in the Academy came in handy at all . Good thing you didn’t spend all of them asleep, then. “And not everybody has access to information or the understanding to differentiate between fake and real news. We’re in the age of misinformation right now. Well, not as bad as when the church still forced people to take back their findings that the earth was round or going around the sun instead of vice versa, but …" You shrugged. “And then there’s disability. But then we still have it in our time. Not everyone is born with the same capacity to reach a high IQ. But it’s not right to exclude people who have a lower IQ from entertainment, is it? So I guess they make it easily accessible to include everyone.”

“Which is applaudable. But in a way it does exclude people with a higher need for stimulation.”

“True. But those can usually get their fix in other ways. Discussions or books, I guess.” You sighed. “Just not in a time like this. Not when you can’t go browsing book shops. And not, if you don’t have that much money.”

“And so you turn to this era’s entertainment?”

You laughed. “Well, not the worst of it. Especially the live television programme is really bad at the moment. Or maybe it always is? But it’s like every single thing that’s on revolves around Corona. How are they planning to stop people from panicking if they don’t give them anything else to focus on? Information is important, but so is relaxation.” You bit your tongue to stop yourself from further ranting. A deep breath later you went on: “The streaming services have some … acceptable shows, though. And after a hard day, personally, I like my shows to be a little more ... accessible. Sometimes it’s nice to just have the show wash over you, to not have to think too much. But maybe that’s a human thing. We don’t like to be stimulated 24/7. It actually tends to give us a headache.”

Spock took a sip from his tea and only now did you remember your sandwich. You used the silence to take a few bites.

“And you suggest we watch something together?”, he finally asked.

You shrugged. “Well, there’s no need to work all day, is there? Now we both look out for the dog. And … I don’t really know how much you earn. But we probably shouldn’t try to get rich. Taking away money from the circulation in the financial system is already risky enough. Each job you take would usually grant somebody else an income. So it has some effect on this time. We shouldn’t try to earn more than we need. And if after working for our meagre living you still have time left of the day and you don’t have anything better to do, then … well, why not?”

This time it was you talking way too much to say a simple ‘yes’. Why did it matter to you so much that you presented good points? That you were so eager to convince him? Were you already that lonely? Oh, well, yes, you were.

“I will consider it.” He took another sip and then put his cup in the sink. He was done with lunch break. “If you excuse me now? I have to get back to work.”

Now … this had been interesting.


	7. Chapter 7

This evening somebody knocked on your bedroom door. Well, somebody ... There was only one person who could knock, really , therefore you didn’t need any guessing.

“Come in.” You were glad you hadn’t slipped out of your clothes yet. That might have been a little … embarrassing? Not that you slept naked.  But while you had gotten around to buy both you and Spock at least some clothes to be able to change, you hadn’t found any good-looking pyjamas in the store  yet. And you hadn’t taken the  Starfleet issued ones with you to this time, which meant underwear and a man’s  boxer shorts. With dogs in superhero costumes on it. Which you didn’t mind that much,  you’d wear them at home, too,  but you weren’t too keen on presenting them to your superior officer.

You wondered what Spock slept in. He hadn’t asked you to buy him any  sleepwear … Huh.

The door opened and the Vulcan entered tentatively. What was he expecting? To be attacked by you? Was it considered bad manners to enter another person’s bedroom on Vulcan? Well, in a way it was, too, on Earth, wasn’t it? But then again after sharing dorms with other people on the Academy you really had no use for any such modesty anymore. Also it wasn’t as if anyone cared if you had ‘the opposite sex’ - or any other - in your room before your wedding anymore. Luckily those thoughts were long outdated. Your ‘honour’ would remain intact.

“I don’t bite”, you promised when he still wouldn’t go further than the threshold. “Is something  wrong ?”

“It is still early in the evening”, he stated. Was he questioning why you weren’t still working? He had been the one to demand you wouldn’t work longer than your normal shift, after all. And you sure had worked your 8 hours today.

“It is...”, you agreed, your tone hesitant. What was he hinting at? Was he hinting at anything at all?

“Would you consider … how did you call it? A TV night?”

“Oh.” Okay, you hadn’t expected that. You had assumed that one day he would agree, because honestly, even Vulcans would get bored after too long a lockdown, right? But that early on? Was he really that desperate or was this once again something he did  just  for you? “Sure. We could hook up the television to the computer, I guess, and use it as a second screen.” You hadn’t  actually  considered the logistics before.  When you were watching alone, you had just either used your new phone or sat down in front of the computer screen. But with two people watching together?  Sure, you could just drag a second chair to the computer, but it would be nicer if you could sit down on the sofa, right? More comfortable. You just hoped you had the right kind of cable.

You grabbed your blanket and shushed Spock out of your room and back into the living room with you.

“What do you need the blanket for?”, he asked. Oh, he really was a TV night virgin, wasn’t he?

“To get comfy. What else do people use blankets for?”

“Do I need a blanket as well?”

You frowned, deep in thought for a moment, then shrugged. “It’s up to you, really. But considering that we’re still in European spring and you come from the desert … Well, maybe you feel better if you’re all cocooned up and warm?” Though your radiators were turned up to a level you wouldn’t have chosen for yourself.  Then again, they were really old and the flat wasn’t exactly isolated. If it wouldn’t be that warm outside right now, who knew if the radiators would be enough for you? Still, Spock never complained about the cold.  Then again you weren’t sure if that wasn’t just his Vulcan upbringing getting in the way of being whiny. But after all it was for him to decide if he wanted or needed any extra warmth.

While Spock went to get his own blanket, you set up the TV. Huh, so much about him being the computer expert, you thought, biting back a grin. Then you opened the browser and went to Netflix. Thank you, free month trial period! Which you might want to turn into a normal subscription, if you didn’t find the dog soon, no matter how unnecessary it might seem to Spock.

“So, what do you wanna watch?”, you asked Spock, when he finally re-emerged with … all  cloth and fabric  the flat had when you  had first  rented it. Oh, he was really cold here. Why hadn’t he said so? Okay, maybe, because there was nothing you could do about it anyway ... 

“I do not believe I have ever heard of any of the possible choices. Is there anything you can recommend?”

For how much of a TV addict did he take you? But then again ever since he bought you the phone, you had spent every evening binge-watching. So maybe you were. What were you going to do once you got home again? Could you live without a massive database full of silly shows ever again? You wondered if the library computer of the Enterprise had a bit of entertainment in storage as well...

But right now the more important question was what you were to watch with Spock. Science Fiction so he could see what people pictured the future to be like? And if so, rather something extremely dark like ...well, almost everything they had? Or something middle dark like Lost in Space? Something  infotaining like Mars? Too bad there weren’t any hopeful Science Fiction shows around, it seemed. Were the people of this time so badly without hope for the future, you wondered.

Or would you rather have him watch the television equivalent to soul food, like Gilmore Girls? The quick dialogues could also be stimulating enough so he wouldn’t get bored. What would he deem the least illogical?

In the end you just closed your eyes and clicked blindly. This way you didn’t force your own taste in shows on him and maybe you found something new to watch that you didn’t know yet.

Then you turned away from the computer without looking back at it and sat down on the sofa, getting comfortable.


	8. Chapter 8

“Y/N.” A pause. “Ensign L/N.”

You slowly opened your eyes. Surely you didn’t oversleep. You felt as if you only had been asleep for a few meagre minutes. 

At first you couldn’t quite  recognize your surroundings. Then it hit you. You were on the sofa. Lying. But where did you get a pillow from. You hadn’t taken the one from your bed, had you?

No. Your pillow moved, shifted  ever so slightly. Oh shit. “Commander …"

“I see, you are awake. Is it customary to fall asleep in front of the television?”

You opened your mouth, closed it again. And again, until your head was finally able to wrap itself around what mess you were in. “Well, it can be ”, you admitted. “ But it was neither customary nor planned to ... use you as a pillow. I’m sorry.” You sat up and rubbed your eyes. “How long was I gone?”

“I cannot say for sure. But you only … changed your position a minute ago.”

Did you fall down on him? Well, at least it couldn’t have hurt much, considering how many layers of blankets , towels and … was that a tablecloth? ...  he had wrapped himself in. Still it was embarrassing. Though not completely uncomfortable, as far as you remembered … 

“Won’t happen again, I promise. Did I miss anything exciting?” You pointed towards the TV.

“As I am incapable of feeling excitement” -  _ Liar _ , you thought. - “I am not the best to judge. But if you fell asleep watching it, it is rather improbable that the show was exciting at all, is it not?”

Oh, Spock. He still had a lot to learn about humans, it seemed. Especially for somebody who was supposed to be half human. Or was he just teasing you? But then you really couldn’t tell. Maybe that was the secret superpower of Vulcans. They always cloaked their emotions well enough  for others  to not  be able to read them, but not enough to not notice SOMETHING being behind the layer of stoicism. But what if you just thought you saw something behind it, because you were projecting? Damn Vulcans, always giving you a headache when you tried to figure them out. That was the reason why you didn’t have any Vulcan friends. Or maybe the reason was that Vulcans didn’t tend to have human friends at all, who knew, really?

You gave up finding a reply to his maybe-teasing and just yawned. 

“Are you capable of finding your way to bed?”, Spock asked. 

Great. Now he thought you were an idiot . “Sure. But maybe I’ll just stay here. I’m too comfortable to get up and move.” Rather too lazy, if you were honest. And a night on the sofa didn’t kill, did it?

But Spock seemed to think otherwise. “I would wake you in about four hours. And I have already learned that … I do not appreciate you being tired.” 

You bit back a laugh. The understatement of the year. If you hadn’t had enough sleep, you were like almost every other human being.  At first you were a zombie. But as the day progressed, you got very cranky and extremely annoying for everyone around you. And a little clumsy as well. Well, not so little, maybe. “Four hours, huh? Not to sound racist, but I’m glad I wasn’t born Vulcan. I like sleep too much to live with just four hours a night.”

“These four hours are not necessarily spent sleeping. Vulcans can go without sleep for several weeks, if necessary. But a short period of rest, if only used for meditation, can be useful to clear one’s mind and be more productive than without it”, he explained, while you made a grimace. 

“Yeah, no. If there’s something like rebirth, I will not, under any circumstances, choose to become a Vulcan. This control thing seems pretty handy sometimes, as does the strength. But I’m not giving up my precious sleep.” Speaking of which ... Since staying here was now out of question, you stood up and began your way to your bedroom. In teeny, tiny mini-steps, because you were tightly wrapped in your blanket and couldn’t really move any faster. And unwrapping yourself was out of question, it was too comfy inside your little cocoon.

Unfortunately you didn’t look  down  to your feet and didn’t notice that you were standing on one small corner of your own blanket until you already tripped. You watched in horror how the floor came closer and you couldn’t even free your arms to catch your fall. You’d land on your face …

“Thus my question if you were capable to find your way”, Spock said, gathering you in his arms. This time you were certain he was teasing. Which didn’t exactly make the situation less awkward. You were in his arms and he was carrying you to your bed. Your superior officer. God, you could never speak about this to anyone. They’d either call you mad or think you have a crush on him and that you’re  fantasizing .

Softly he placed you down onto the bed and looked at you for a heartbeat. “Maybe next time we ought to start our TV night earlier, so you will be able to stay awake until the end”, he mused.

You smiled. “Next time?” You hadn’t expected him to ever want to do this again.

“We still find ourselves with much time in our hands and not a great many tasks to occupy ourselves with. It is only logical to find alternatives to simply resting all the time”, Spock said and again it sounded as if he could be teasing.

“Right. Then next time I have to go shopping, I’ll remember  to buy us some snacks.” Before he even could speak up, you nodded. “I know, nothing with too much sugar for you. One day I’ll find out what’s up with Vulcans and sugar, though …" Because he sure didn’t look like he had to stick to a strict diet so he wouldn’t gain weight. Maybe a bit of weight wouldn’t even hurt. He was rather skinny, wasn’t he? And if Vulcans were more likely to get caries, he would also stay away from all this fruits with their acids, right? And if sugar in general was poisonous, he wouldn’t be able to eat anything from this time period. Well, freshly grown vegetables, but that’s about it. So it had to be something else. And that had you intrigued.

“But until then, you should do well and sleep now”, he merely replied, when you yawned again. “I bid you goodnight, Y/N.”

“Yeah, nighty-night, Spock. Meditate tight.” 


	9. Chapter 9

You only went shopping for groceries once a week to  minimize the possibilities of catching the  current Corona virus , always wearing a mask made of coffee filters and thread. You dreaded going out, all while looking forward to it at the same time. Being cooped up with Spock slowly started to feel  alright and you weren’t as close to gnawing off your skin as when the lockdown first started,  but the short moments of breathing fresh air, feeling the sun – or rain – on your skin and  walking in a straight line for more than just ten meters were still your highlight of the week.

If only shopping wouldn’t also mean standing in line for what felt like hours.  Two meters apart from each other, sometimes, depending on the time of day you went out, hundreds of meters away from the door of the actual shop you were waiting to enter. Without toilets,  without anything to sit down, without entertainment (unless you gave up some of the money on your phone, but who knew when you needed to call Spock?).  That part of shopping was keeping you on edge and your skin itched with  restlessness. 

Today,  though, you had even more reasons to keep from going mad while waiting in line. Today you would buy snacks. Today, you would buy everything you wanted . Because today you had finally reached the  amount of  income  on one  of your survey  platforms , that marked the line . Today you had finally earned enough to be able to access the money.  Only once you reached fifty euros or more you could send them to your bank account or get a voucher.  Fifty euros, that were all yours to spend. And you were intending to use them well.

For a moment you wondered if you should ask Spock  for permission first. He was working so hard to  pay your rent and bills. But then again, he not only claimed that he wasn’t working hard at all, but holding back to not earn too much. He had also told you again and again that you didn’t need to fill out all those silly surveys about which  lemonade advert you liked better,  because it wasn’t worth the effort as you earn ed close to nothing – 10 cents per hour were already a rather high average income in that ‘business’  -, and because you simply didn’t need the money as he could provide for the both of you. So if you actually earned something, it was okay to spend it however you liked, right? And it wasn’t as if you were planning on  throwing the money away, wasting it on a designer handbag.  Was there such a thing in this time anyway?

Finally you were the next in line and could enter the supermarket.  This was like another world to you, whenever you entered. Sure, there were still shops in your time. But they didn’t look like that.  You knew, all this decoration and presentation of goods was just to get you in the mood to buy more than you actually needed.  The soft music in the background and that around the fresh food you could smell something fresh and fruity in the air , everything was just to manipulate you into spending more money, a concept that wasn’t needed anymore in the 23 rd century.  But that didn’t stop you from enjoying the wideness, the colours, the atmosphere.  And compared to the day you arrived, when the shop was still crowded,  it was now a relaxing experience to roam the aisles. If there wouldn’t be others in line outside, hating everyone who spent more time than necessary in here, you would’ve considered staying all day.

Instead you  systematically walked down one aisle after the other, buying everything on your list, until … 

“ Is that a greenhouse?” Spock looked down at the rather pathetic looking green plastic thingy you bought, together with  pots, potting compost and cheap seeds.  You had just gotten home and had started to unpack your purchases.

“Well, a greenhouse for the window sill, yes.” You blushed. You had bought it out of an impulse, not rational thought, sure. Still his  scrutinising glance seemed a little over the top.  “We don’t know how long we’ll have to stay here, right? So it doesn’t hurt growing our own food. I bought seeds of  fast growing vegetables as well. Here, radishes only take  20 to 30 days . It would also give us something else to do. A hobby, if you like.”

“You were the one saying we should not earn or spend more than we need to”, Spock reminded you.  As if that would really be necessary.

“I finally got a voucher for my work. I paid with my own money, don’t worry. Money I didn’t earn by taking commissions from others either, I think.  I also bought two books …” One sounded rather philosophical, which you had thought Spock might enjoy. The other was  an adventure novel, perfect for being cooped up in here with no chance of going on adventures.

Before he could comment yet another illogical expense, you started unpacking everything else you bought. First the usual stuff, bread, cheese, pasta – finally pasta wasn’t sold out anymore, at least for a few hours -, toilet paper, and all the other small things necessary for a normal and maybe even healthy life. And then: “Kale chips, nuts and seeds as snacks for you. Also Popcorn without any salt or sugar, so you can decide what you want on top. And for me, chocolate, Potato chips, and wine gums. Also ... I bought us this.” You unpacked a small bucket filled with tiny flasks that each held a liquid of a different colour. “It’s a party selection of a lot of different alcoholic drinks. The liquors might have too much sugar for you, but there are some less tooth-rotting beverages included as well. And if we don’t drink it, at least we’ll have a souvenir for Doctor McCoy.” You grinned.

“Kale chips?”, was all Spock replied. 

“You said that kale was important in your died. Because of the copper, I guess? So I thought, maybe that’s the right snack for you for TV nights. Not exactly healthy, as they are fried or drenched in oil and baked just like normal chips, but at least the copper shouldn’t dissolve in heat, right?” Your grin was long gone, instead you smiled a little nervously. “I … wanted to say thanks. For ... the phone and … Well, it can’t be easy spending time with a human that often. I appreciate what you’re doing for me. And as there’s not much I can do to repay you, I hoped …" You trailed off. You felt stupid and didn’t even know why. You had just thought that while Spock and you were rather in a forced relationship of sorts than in real friendship, relationships always needed a balance of giving and taking. And until today there had been nothing you could give to Spock in return. All you had done was taking whatever he offered, which made you feel guilty. But maybe he didn’t want it any other way, didn’t want more exchange of gestures than he initiated? As if social interactions with humans weren’t already complicated enough … How were you supposed to figure out this damn Vulcan?

“While it wasn’t necessary to actually find … snacks for me specifically, I appreciate the gesture. And yes, both kale, even in dried form, and nuts hold some amounts of copper necessary for providing my body with enough oxygen.”

“Phew. Good thing we have copper in earth food as well, I guess. How long can a Vulcan survive without copper ?”, you tried to change the subject slightly. But you were actually interested in the topic as well.

“The Vulcan body, as I said before , evolved in the desert. It is more used to long periods without food or water than the human body. Without any amount of copper in our body we would experience fatal organ failure in about an hour, while humans without iron would experience the same symptom after about 20 minutes. But with the amount within my body and only without a source for new copper, I would be able to live many years, assuming that I don’t suffer from any  undiscovered  disease.  Do not fear for my life.  And with kale and other foods  providing sufficient amounts of copper, I will  not experience any negative effects at all.”

You were glad to hear that.  You kept silent for a moment, before tentatively asking: “So...  Are we good?”

Spock arched a brow. “Good in what?”

Oh, he couldn’t not know this saying. Was he teasing you again?  “ Is everything alright between the both of us?”

“I think we stated that we appreciate each others  attempts of making life here easier for the other. Why should there be anything wrong between us?”

Good question. “Just making sure, I guess. Alright, I guess I should start packing away the groceries .”  If only just  so you didn’t have to face Spock any longer. Something about him made you feel awkward and stupid  from time to time. Though you were sure by now that he at least didn’t  wish to awake such feelings within you , if he even noticed them at all. 


	10. Chapter 10

You hadn’t expected it to get so cold all of a sudden. Last week the temperature had risen up to almost 20 degree Celsius, but now it was freezing. The local weather forecast spoke of the first snow in more than 12 months and nights of less than minus 10 degree in the worst case.

Your radiator was up to its maximum and still you were shivering whenever you sat down for too long, so you once again started to pace through the flat to keep warm. This time even Spock didn’t complain about the noise and constant movement.

You wondered how he was faring. If you had problems with how badly the flat was isolated and how cold it was even with the radiators working all day and night, surely he felt even worse. But, being all Vulcan, he never said anything, never complained. Though you could bet you saw him standing closer to the oven than ever before when you decided to heat up frozen pizza today.

Last time you had made pizza, Spock hadn’t even bothered to show up in the kitchen until lunch was ready, while you had gone back to work, only setting a timer so your food wouldn’t get too dark. But today Spock miraculously found something to do as close to the oven as possible. A cupboard door screeched? Well, best time to fix it, right? And making a list of what food you were running low on? Well,  if he was here anyway … 

But who were you to complain. You had pulled up a chair next to the oven to work as close to the heat as possible as well. Though at least YOU admitted that it was because you were freezing.

„You want me to make you a tea“, you asked, slight teasing apparent in your voice.

„I am more than capable of doing so myself“, Spock replied, but didn’t move, nor said that at the moment he didn’t want to drink anything.

„Sure. But the tea is stored in the cupboard farthest from the oven“, you grinned. 

Spock arched a brow.

„Oh, you couldn’t be more obvious, honestly. And there’s nothing shameful about feeling cold. It’s not an emotion, is it? “, you tried  have him cut himself some slack. „ It’s just a fact, easy to be measured scientifically accurate. So no breaking your Vulcan crown here.“ You still grinned , though. Not because you liked that he was suffering silently, but because it was cute how his pride  prevented him from just asking for whatever could help keep him warmer . „You know, if I were you, I’d probably be running around wrapped in my blanket all day until it gets warmer again.“

„I would not recommend it. Remember what happened last time you tried walking while being wearing your blanket that tightly.“ Now he sounded teasing as well. Or maybe you were projecting again.

„Well, good point.“ You got up to actually make some tea, though more because you felt like you’d need a hot drink yourself than because you cared for Spock’s well-being. Or so you told yourself, at least. „I’m not sure my reflexes are quite as good as yours, even if I could actually catch and carry you.“ And you weren’t sure if you hadn’t heard something about Vulcans having denser bones and therefore a higher body weight, back when you were in Academy. It was embarrassing enough that he had to carry you once. Trying to do the same and failing, having both of you crash down to the floor, you could definitely live without.

Soon the water was boiling and you handed Spock a mug. He held it with both hands, any pretence of still working forgotten. You stopped yourself from commenting on it just in time and just watched him, with thinly veiled worry. Hopefully the weather would get warm again as quickly as it had just turned cold. You didn’t need the summer temperatures you had had the day before yesterday. But anything above zero would be more than welcome to you – and you were human, built to live in this climate. He, on the other hand …

“Spock? What would happen if it stays that cold for a longer period? Can you survive it?”, you asked, quietly.

He looked at you calmly. “I assure you, I will not die of temperatures that tolerable.”

You snorted. “Tolerable? Says the man who’s cuddling his tea mug.”

“The room temperature is at 13 degree Celsius”, Spock said and you didn’t ask how he knew. One of his strange Vulcan superpowers, you guessed. “While this is more than ten degrees below the temperature I would find optimal, it is far from lethal. My immune system could suffer, making me more likely to catch a disease. But not only is the probability of getting sick only slightly elevated when cold, we are also still in lockdown. For me – or you - to get ill there would have to be germs coming from outside as we are likely to be immune against any that may still be alive within our flat.”

You held up your hands, trying to stop him. You could do without the lecture. “Alright, alright, so you’ll live. Good.” You gave him a once over. “Doesn’t look comfortable, though.”

Spock inclined his head. “It is not. But I have survived temperatures much lower for a more extended time, and I intend to do so again.” His tone was the same as ever and still it made clear that this was the end of your discussion. It wasn’t the end of your worries, though.

This evening, when you had your nowadays nearly daily TV night, you couldn’t help yourself. Spock still looked cold, under his mountain of blankets and pillows. And you had to admit, it had gotten colder in the flat. Somewhere there had to be a hole in the wall or a leakage in the isolation of one of the windows. There was no other possible explanation how the flat could get that cold that quickly, no matter how cheaply it was built and how the radiators had seen better days. And though by now you had even turned on the oven just to heat up the flat a little more – and to keep your vegetable seedlings alive -, it seemed as if none of this warmth made its way out of the kitchen, while the cable of the tv wasn’t long enough to move it  _ into _ the kitchen.

So you had to try another way to keep Spock warm. You threw your blanket on top of the pile under which you assumed he would be, because by now not much of him was visible anymore, and got out all the towels you weren’t currently using as well. Unfortunately the flat didn’t came with a hot water bottle, so the blankets had to be enough.

“And what about you?”, Spock asked, looking at the shivering bundle that was you.

“I’ll be fine”, you lied, worrying what would happen at night. Spock seemed to need all those blankets, how could you steal yours away from him again once you were going to bed? But the few clothes you owned – and wore right now – were not exactly helpful to keep warm either.

Spock breathed out. Nothing  unnormal about it, except that it did sound a bit like a sigh. Vulcans didn’t sigh, did they? Maybe you should re-evaluate your prejudices you had towards Vulcans. “Are you familiar with the concept of shared body heat?”, he asked.

“I am a  Starfleet officer”, you replied. It had to be enough. Surely he still remembered survival classes as well as you did, maybe ever better, with his better than human memory. You all had to learn how to survive in deserts, rain forests, and desolate, cold plains. Though always under controlled circumstances. You had cuddled with your fellow cadets as much as everyone else, trying to survive in the freezing wilderness. “You suggest I’ll come crawling under your blanket? I’m not sure I’ll have much body warmth to give right now.”

„Any heat would be more than welcome“, Spock said.

Y ou gasped.  He had to be feeling really bad if he asked for help that directly.  So, what were you to do? Spock wasn’t exactly a fellow cadet.  He outranked you by far. But that was all the more reason to keep him warm, right? He was the one to make decisions, so you needed him in perfect condition.

„This is no order“,  he said, clearly noticing your hesitation.

„I know.“ That didn’t make it easier, though.  But were there any good points against it? Except for feeling awkward you couldn’t think of any. And so you  grabbed your bag of chips and your steaming mug and inched closer to Spock.

Underneath all those blankets it was warm and cozy, at least for human standards. You couldn’t help snuggling  up to the source of warmth, sighing contentedly.

„It seems I am not the only one who … would not mind it getting warmer again.“ Oh yes, Vulcans could tease and Spock seemed to have mastered the skill.

„It’s not my fault you’re so warm and comfy.“  With a grin you added: „Sir.“

A human would’ve laughed, but Spock sta yed ever so quiet and concentrated on the movie he had picked.  This time it was a science-fiction flick that  focused on how to make contact with aliens that didn’t have the same concept of language that humans did.

„That movie  had a good grasp of the problems a first contact could come with“, Spock’s dark voice  woke you  some time later.

You jumped and instinctively he pulled you closer.

„You have fallen asleep again.“ That much was obvious, wasn’t it? But then again he hadn’t asked, just stated a fact.

„Sorry“, you said, only half-heartedly as you were feeling way too  warm and protected to really  mind.  „Now,  should I take my blanket and get to bed?“ You bit your tongue, not to grin.

„Do you feel comfortable enough to consider spending the night on the sofa?“

You only shifted slightly, snuggling deeper to Spock’s side and yawned  demonstratively. „Night, Commander.“

Spock freed one arm to  get the remote control. After switching off the TV , he pulled the arm back into your  cocoon and closed his eyes. You didn’t know if he was meditating or trying to sleep, but you didn’t need to know.  It was enough that he seemed to feel more comfortable than he had looked since the temperature had dropped.


	11. Chapter 11

The weather refused to stay constant and two days later it was getting warmer again. Not as warm as it had been a few days prior, but the flat was warm enough to sit still for a while. The temperature stayed above the freezing point even at night. And finally you stopped shivering. But it also put an end to sleeping close to Spock.

At first you were happy about it. The privacy of your own bed sounded great, didn’t it?  But when you lay down the first night after the snow had melted again,  alone under your blanket, you felt strange. Empty. Lonely.

You had a hard time falling asleep that night , not really knowing why. It couldn’t be the lack of Vulcans at your side, after all. You had only spent  two nights cuddling him.  Not enough time to grow used to him. Right?

Spock looked completely normal in the morning . He didn’t seem to have missed a minute of sleep.  You, on the other hand, felt worn out.

„Are you unwell?“ Of course Spock had noticed. For somebody who was supposed to be oblivious to everything emotional, he was really good at reading every little thing that might be wrong. „You did not get infected the last time you had to handle our purchases?“ Without hesitation he pressed his hand against your forehead, giving you a strange, tingling sensation.

You tried to clear your mind, just in case. There was a reason, Vulcans  prevented skin contact whenever possible, right? You didn’t want him to  know what was on your mind, for both your sakes.

„No fever“, Spock stated.

„I’m not sick. Just didn’t have the best night possible. I’ll be fine.“

„Do you wish to take the day off?”, he asked. “You have worked every single day since we arrived.“

You shook your head.  You could take a day of rest, sure. But it wasn’t as if your job  was in any way hard to do right now.  „You don’t seem to care for weekends or rest either. So why should I?“

„Because you are human.  There is no need to try to impress me. I hope you know that much. There is nothing impressive about ignoring your health.“

„ Spooock “, you groaned. „I’m not trying to impress you.  But I’m also not sick. And what would I do all day long if I weren’t allowed to work? Sit and watch you work? Here’s not much else I can do.” And you were back at the beginning. Being bored and slowly growing insane. „It’s not like I’ve got somebody to spend my time with, right?“

Spock noticed the bait you were laying out for him. Did his lip curl upwards slightly? Maybe you were just  imagining it.

„And if you had, what do you propose that person and you should do?“

„I really don’t know“, you had to be honest. „I mean, there is some free stuff on the internet now . Workouts, and games.  But I don’t think you’re into board games and we don’t seem to have enough space to do some sports. “ Though there probably were exercises  you didn’t need much space for.  But it wasn’t as if sports were really relaxing. Then again, they were necessary both for you physical well-being and for  keeping up with  Starfleet standards.

„ What kind of board games are we talking about?“ He was interested, you could tell.  Now that was a surprise.

Still you had to shrug. „I’m not completely sure. Probably something like Monopoly. The classics.“ You got out your phone and looked up board games in the play store.

“Is it possible that chess is among them?”

You looked up at Spock and handed him your smartphone. “Sure, but not in 3D.” You weren’t sure if both versions of the game had the same rules. But you were sure that you couldn’t beat him. You had seen him play many times in the mess hall, and while the Captain might have won a game or two, you didn’t dare to think you were as clever or as experienced as your commanding officers. “But, we could try each of them. And decide if we like them later on.”

“And how do we play if we only have one phone?”, Spock asked, handing it back to you.

“Exactly like this. We hand it back and forth. Though I think some apps come with a computer version, so you can sit over there and play on the big screen while I’ll use my phone?”

So Spock turned on his computer, while you made your way into the kitchen to finally make breakfast that had been left forgotten during your little discussion.

“L/N?”, Spock called, just when you were done making his yoghurt with seeds and fruit.

“Huh?” When he was informal, there was no need to be formal yourself.

“What exactly is strip poker?”

You wondered if not dropping his breakfast at this moment would be the most heroic deed of your career. It sure was the most heroic moment you had had yet. You put the bowl down on the kitchen counter and rushed into the living room. “How the hell did you find …" You were silenced by Spock reading out loud rather detailed instructions of the game. “I can’t believe you didn’t stumble across this in Academy”, you murmured, only to add in a louder voice: “Don’t worry, I won’t be suggesting strip poker. Like ... ever.”

„ W hy would people want to play  something like that? I would understand it as a part of courting, if somewhat blunt. But if  this information  i s correct,  most poker games have more than two players. And while polyamory is not uncommon in our time, it is still rather a taboo in those ages, is it not?“

„I assume some play it with just the two of them, or whichever number of people  involved in the relationship in question. But never underestimate  the stupidity of drunk college kids.  Sure they might have sex afterwards, but it’s also possible they just play strip poker for the laughs.“

„ Illogical“,  Spock stated.

You huffed. „We’re talking about humans, what did you expect? But see, no need to worry then. I’ll never be that drunk around you that  I’d suggest playing THAT.“

And still now your mind was wandering.  You remembered his thin , graceful body pressed to you at night and wondered how it might look beneath the layers of clothes.  Great. What the hell was wrong with you. Did he do something to you while you had been asleep? But then why would he? Rumour had it that Spock had turned down  every woman who ever had tried to win his heart. That he even left his fiancé.  You had no illusions that you were anything special compared to  all those women. So  this probably wasn’t his doing, right? He had no reason to make you  ogle him. Shit.  So in the end you had finally reached the point of going mad  in isolation. Or had you? Maybe that was just a normal development. You grew attached to him. As he was the centre of your day, your life right now, maybe that wasn’t as unhealthy as it felt ?

„Now that’s settled,  breakfast is ready. If you want some?“, you tried to change the subject.

He arched a brow. „Ensign, it is not your duty to prepare my  every meal. You do not have to spoil me and you are in no way my personal yeoman, is that understood?“

You sighed. That again. Ever since you learned at least some of the dishes he could eat, Spock seemed to panic – well, Vulcan style – that you might slip back into antiquated gender roles. When you both ate the same, like pizza, he admitted the logic of one person taking care of both portions of the meal. But when you ate different things?

„Commander“, you addressed him  formally as well. „You were on the computer looking up games for the both of us. I see no fault in using the time to prepare meals for the two of us as well, instead of just for my own.“ You tried to sound as  Vulcan-ny as possible. Oh, he couldn’t  outlogic you today.  Not when you knew you were right. „And no, I don’t feel pressured into doing it, neither by your rank nor by your current job and the fact that you provide for us. And especially not by  any concept based on gender. I just had the time while you were googling games, and so I did it.“

„Googling?“

„An idiom of that age. Looking something up on the internet“, you explained and once again wondered how he had managed so far to not learn that word. But then again he spent three or more years among teenagers and  twentysomethings on the Academy and still hadn’t known strip poker until today. He seemed to have built up a good resilience against human idiocy of any kind.

The rest of the day went by way more pleasurable than the morning. After eating together, both you and Spock agreed that taking the day off completely would be irresponsible. You had to at least run a few searches to see if the dog had turned up. Of course it hadn’t. You began to wonder if it ever would. If saying this was the time you had to go to hadn’t been a scheme of anyone to get rid of you. Or rather Spock, because you didn’t fool yourself into thinking that an ensign had any importance to the quadrant. One day, maybe, but definitely not yet. Then again you had traveled in time. Maybe one day you’d get yourself an enemy wicked enough to come back in time to kill you via Corona virus, or by making you forever stuck in the past? You had to smirk at that thought. Not of being stuck, but of being important enough to have such an eager enemy.

After neither of you could find any traces of the dog, you actually managed to get Spock to play with you. Not that it took much persuasion. Maybe he had secretly longed for some diversion as well?

He won the chess game, of course. You, on the other hand, got rich taking all his money in a game of Monopoly.

„Illogical. If I were a business man, I would try not to take all of my customers‘ money. If they are bankrupt, I won’t make any money in the future, unless they find a way to get more money soon. Taking so much money that they have nothing left and therefore no source for earning new money, I hurt my own business“, Spock commented.

„Or you’re just a sore loser? “, you grinned.

„I do not mind losing. Especially not as it seems to make you happy.  One could say, as your superior officer and the person responsible for your well-being it is my  duty to lose.“  For a Vulcan, Spock was almost smirking.

You grinned even wider. „That’s actually kinda sweet. Well, it would be if it were true. But then you could’ve let me win in chess.“

„Impossible.  I could have done everything to force you to win and you still would have lost the game.“ Spock’s brows were both raised. Oh, he was making fun of you. And you didn’t mind at all. He was right, anyway. You had no chance against him in chess. 

You  played other games as well. Card games as well as (digital) board games.  Spock also tried to at least teach you the principles of Vulcan games, one of them using matches. You never really understood what he was talking about, though . Maybe because he claimed that the structure of matches should change form whenever you moved a single match . You just couldn’t picture it and without the small computer that was part of the game,  there was no way to simulate it. So you took pity on Spock and googled riddles  like ‚move  four match es to  turn this  big square with two small squares inside to  one big square with just one small square inside‘. He solved each riddle in under a minute, but  didn’t complain. He even asked if you had more riddles for him .

In the evening you gave the search for the dog another try – no luck – and then turned on the television again while Spock made dinner. You had agreed to a vegetarian dish, so that he could repay you for breakfast without having to touch dead animals. He insisted on repaying you for making him breakfast.

„I had fun today“, you said, loud enough for him to hear. „Thanks for doing that for me.“

Spock  stuck out his head from the kitchen. „I would not mind making this a weekly tradition.“

You wondered if that meant he had had fun as well, but didn’t dare ask. He wouldn’t admit it anyway,  would he? „Sure, if you like?“, you replied anyway.  It still had been the best day since you arrived here .

When Spock came back from the kitchen , carrying your food, he sat closer to you than before  winter had returned. He handed you your dish and nodded, sincerely: „I would like.“

Something in this moment left you momentarily breathless , though thankfully Spock had turned to his food and was eating already. Once you got a grip on yourself, you  dug  in as well,  but couldn’t shake the feeling that something  was changing. Around you? Between you? Within you? You didn’t know.


	12. Chapter 12

Two weeks later you were still stuck inside. Toilet paper was  available more often nowadays, as was pasta. And the weather had changed for the better, almost reaching 20 degrees Celsius  around noon on a daily basis now. But apart from that you hadn’t made any progress.  Still no sign of the dog.

„D‘you think we’ll ever get back?“, you asked Spock on a day you felt the situation worse than ever since he had bought you the phone.

„There’s no reason to believe otherwise. Even if we were to  further damage the time line, the Guardian would communicate that to the Captain, who in turn would send somebody after us.  We will not get stuck here.“

„We ARE stuck. What else would you call this?“

„When I was with the Captain during the time of  the Great Depression, we had been away for many days as well. This is not an uncommon occurrence when using the Guardian of Forever . There is no need for you to worry .“

You wondered how that might have been.  Here Spock has computers to work with. That was his specialty,  after all. But back then? There hadn’t been any computers during the Great Depression, right? And even if there had been, it was called Great Depression for a reason.  Surely  there hadn’t been  m any  commissions . But at least he had been there with the Captain. They were friends, were they not?  They at least had each other to hold on to.

Still, you couldn’t deny that in comparison you  were in a better situation. You didn’t know about the circumstances of their journey back then, but  if you had the choice to either end up in a lockdown during a pandemic with at  least some jobs still available  and lots of entertainment, good plumbing and an economy healthy enough to feed at least all within the  industrialized countries , or  to go back to a time in which people in the supposed  richest country in the world  starved in masses or committed suicide  out of despair, you’d choose the pandemic every time. And while the Captain had  his friend at his side , you had Spock as well. And … maybe he was your friend, too. After all you had been through by now. 

„What happened, when you got back?“, you asked him. 

„We went on to new planets.“

You couldn’t help but  snort , though this time you assumed he was just involuntarily funny . „No, I mean,  how long had you been gone for those who waited in our time? Did you  physically age during the time in the past? Did you get shore leave days for the time you spent there? Was it hard to get used to being aboard again?“

Even looking at him from his side you could see his mind work.  You wondered if what you asked was confidential, or too personal.

„It was … not easy. We have not thought about scanning if our cells aged as much as  possible, living that long in a different time. But as one of us was in a different state when we came  home , compared to his state, when he went back in time, I have to assume that we age here as well.  Although for those waiting for us in the future, mere seconds will have passed until we get back.“

That sounded horrible. You might go all touch deprived and in need of hours and hours of good talking – not to mention sleep in your own bed  and a prolonged vacation somewhere nice  – and your friends wouldn’t  have even started missing you? They would never really understand the emotional toil then?

That sounded horrible. You might go all touch deprived and in need of hours and hours of good talking – not to mention sleep in your own bed – and your friends wouldn’t  have even started missing you? They would never really understand the emotional toil then? „So … shore leave?“ , you asked, your mood audibly sobered.

„ Unfortunately the last time we were in this situation, the officers in question were all  commanding personnel.  I usually do not take any of my accumulated shore leave days,  as I have no need for them,  and the Captain  sometimes has to be … persuaded.“ Something told you, that wasn’t an  easy task and that Spock had at least once been the one to try. „ Therefore we had not yet had any need to decide whether days of duty we have no  proof for should be taken into account when granting shore leave.“

You sighed. Now you were even happier that Spock basically forced you to take  one day off – more or less – every week now.  „ Well, bad luck. But in the end, that’s what we signed up for, right? Adventures . And adventures usually don’t come with any gratifications, other than knowing afterwards that you made it.  And good stories to tell”, you tried to console yourself more than him.

„Indeed.“

„We’ll better make this a good story then.“ And for that you had to  hold on to hope. And maybe find a few interesting things online you could gossip about back home.  More interesting that by now your first seedlings had grown into beautiful radishes. Not that you weren’t proud of them, too. But being able to grow your own food seemed great here, especially since Spock had even more snacks for TV nights now. But when you thought of Sulu and his plants, you knew, that growing vegetables wasn’t anything special.

Still, somehow you’d make it through this mess and you were  more than willing to have the best time possible while you were here. Make it a mission worth remembering.


	13. Chapter 13

Should you really do this? You looked down on  your phone and read the  article again. While looking for new riddles for Spock and maybe new free to play games for the both of you, you had stumbled upon something you  remembered having heard about during  Xenopsychology 101 at the Academy as well. There was a theory that  within some species emotional attachment could be forced to form, or rather softly persuaded,  with the help of 36 simple questions.  But  that had just been a side-note of the class, as it was focused on the differences  of mental  and emotional  processes between the species. For example a  Tellarite loved to argue, therefore private questions didn’t make them go all soft and fluffy. They’d rather  be insulted by possible implications of those questions,  unless you were brave enough to argue back and give them an enjoyable time yelling at one another,  while  Andorians , ever  so slightly paranoid, would wonder if you gathered information for a sinister reason. Asking them therefore could gain you their unwavering mistrust, instead of any kind of affection.

But now you were here and had found the questions , nicely listed in an article on a website. And you had a lot of time on your hands to  use them , if you really wanted . And that’s where things got complicated. Before you had found them by accident, you never would’ve even thought about something like that. Getting closer to Spock? Not even for fun. But now that you had found them, some voice inside your head was nagging. You had spent a night twisting and turning, thinking about if you should dare trying them.  And whenever you decided not to, you felt awful, as if you’d lost something. But whenever you decided to do it and thought your decision final ,  your  conscience  awoke, making you feel bad for being so selfish , that you’d even think about forcing those questions upon Spock. And what if he knew them? What if he noticed what you were doing? What if he hated you for it, making the rest of your time here a living hell?

And what would you gain anyway , if you used that  fricking questions?  A closer friendship to Spock?  An affair? Did Vulcans have affairs?  Did you want any affair ?  It would  jeopardize your career on the Enterprise as well as whatever was between you and Spock right now , not to mention that affairs tended to be utterly meaningless. Short interludes in life with people you might not even remember later on. You’d rather felt people who liked affairs were treating the people they had affairs with like something disposable. You couldn’t picture yourself doing that to Spock.

But he cared for you, didn’t he? Maybe there was  the possibility for something of more depth.  But did you want THAT?

„You seem  occupied today.“ Spock’s voice was softer than usual. You wond ered if he tried not to startle you. „Is anything amiss?“

„I just saw an article  in my off time and it gave me a lot to think about. But everything’s fine “, you assured him, quickly changing to another tab on your browser, so that Spock wouldn’t see what you had been reading.

„ Do you wish to talk about it?“

You shook your head. Oh no, you wouldn’t tell him what the text was about. Sure, he wouldn’t laugh at you, but whatever his reaction would be, you assumed that being laughed at would be less awkward than the alternative. Also, telling him would spoil whatever decision you would make – if you ever made any.

„Would you prefer not to  play today?“

„Would you?“, you asked cautiously. 

„ I  do not mind spending the day with you distracting ourselves from the pandemic.“  He sounded sincere  and his eyes  kept fixed on yours.

You smiled softly.  „Likewise. I’m glad I wasn’t sent here alone. “ Without thinking you added: „ Say, if you had the choice of  any one in  the galaxy, whom  would you want as a dinner guest?“ Oh no.  Now the question was put in the world and you couldn’t take it back. Hopefully he’d never heard of it before, or at least  didn’t know  which set of questions it belonged to and what that was for.

For a short while Spock simply looked at you pensively.  „At the moment? You. Everyone else could carry the virus and while  my body can handle most  illnesses better than  a human one, I am unsure if I am immune to this particular virus.“

You blushed , but chuckled. So logical. „And if we were home, without any pandemic around?“

„If  ‚anyone in the  galaxy‘ includes the deceased, I would  be interested in meeting  Surak . If not,  the Captain is my preferred dinner  guest.  But there is no logic in wishing for something one cannot have. Surely you know that?“

You shrugged. „But  thinking about what one could wish might help keep the mind flexible. With so many unknowns in the universe, it’s  good to picture things one deems impossible, so one is ready if one is proven wrong, right?“

Spock arched a brow. You had surprised him . But then you had surprised yourself as well, making a point  like this. „Which dinner guest would you wish for, then?“

You thought for a moment. „Right now, you’re the best . Like you said, everyone else could carry germs I don’t really wanna get in contact with. But back home?  I don’t know. Garth sounded pretty cool, when we learned his tactics at the Academy, but I heard he’s gone mad?  And Captain Pike‘s gone missing, too.  Bet he would have a story or two to tell, if he hadn’t had that damn accident.“ You couldn’t think of anyone living you’d like to meet. Among the dead there were many, sure. Your  favorite classical musicians and writers.  Philosophers from many planets and ages, some of them so weird in their writings that you’d like to meet them just to have them explain what the hell they meant , if only to prove your Academy teachers wrong. But among the living? „Guess it’s still you.  Unless somebody soon has a breakthrough in my field of work and I could use this dinner to  catch up with current science and  ask them about their surveys.“

Spock looked at you. “And here some people say that Vulcans are unimaginative”, he commented, causing you to chuckle.

“Who knows? Maybe I just like you that much that I can’t picture any dinner without you anymore?”

“My point still stands.” And once again you thought that Spock was smirking. 


	14. Chapter 14

Over the course of the next weeks you got into the habit of asking him one of the questions each day.  Carefully inserted in  your conversation during breakfast, dinner or games you’d slip in the next question, keeping to the same  order that was listed on the website.  You learned that he did not wish to become famous, that among Vulcans he even already was a celebrity of sorts. Not only because of  his father, an ambassador, but also because there were few, possibly none other Vulcan-human hybrids. Especially none that  got into the Vulcan Science Academy and rejected that offer. He did not care for the resulting attention.

You also learned that he didn’t sing to himself.  Not even when he played that Vulcan lyre or harp, you’ve seen him with in the mess hall sometimes.  „I am capable  of holding a tune, but others mastered that skill on a level I have not reache d. Why should I sing, then? “ 

That statement had made you sad. You assumed he didn’t mean it to sound so self-conscious.  You couldn’t picture Spock lacking confidence in his own person when it came to his capabilities.  But that he chose not to sing, just because others were better ? He never even sung to himself when he was alone?  Not even when he was showering?  But maybe there was more to it? Maybe even alone he could hear past performances of other people in his mind and simply enjoyed them more than his own voice?  And still you couldn’t help but feel sad for him that day.

For the question if he wanted to  live to the age of 90 and if he’d rather keep the body or the brain of a 30 year old, you had to improvise.  He would surely surpass the age of 90, unless he’d die of unnatural circumstances.  So you upped that number to 150. „Unless  weakened by a disease, the Vulcan mind stays focused and capable  for a long time. In the final years it might lose concentration and  working for prolonged times might not always be possible, but even a Vulcan at that age is usually a fully capable member of society. Therefore I would choose the body of a 30 year old.“

Something seemed to gleam in his eyes when he said that.  You knew he was older than 30. Of course, he was a First Officer after all.  By now he was even closer to 40 than to 30, was he not? Did something happen since the time he was 30, that he wanted reversed?  But follow-up questions weren’t mentioned on the website , not that you could always refrain from asking, and Spock was too private a person that you’d dare ask him.  If he didn’t tell it right away, he didn’t want to tell at all.

The twelfth question got a bit complicated. If he  could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would he choose.

„What kind of ability?“, Spock asked.

„I don’t know. Have you never read comics? You know, those about super heroes?“

„I cannot say I have.“

And so you showed Spock  a list of super heroes and their abilities. „But I guess it could also be a character trait or a skill that you could choose.“

„What would you choose, then?“

The question took you by surprise, although it was common you both answered the question you asked that day. But  for you to go first was rare.

„ Thing is, all super powers come with responsibilities“, you began. „It’s not like I fear responsibility. I’m in  Starfleet after all, so all duty and honour and all that.  But the responsibility of a super hero goes much further. You’d have to keep saving the world  but in disguise, because otherwise scientists might lock you up to find out how you got those powers.  And work-life balance is probably non-existent. I mean, as a hero you still have to have a normal job. Not just to keep appearances, but also because it’s unethical to charge people for their rescue. “ Though in the 23 rd century that probably wasn’t an issue anymore, post-scarcity and all. You’ve never met anyone who didn’t work in any kind of job, but it wasn’t strictly necessary, either. But you’ve never come across a super hero comic playing in a time like that.

„You could choose a less heroic ability“, Spock pointed out.

„There are too many to choose from, aren’t there? Like, for example right now I’d love to have super immunity against all viruses.  For obvious reasons. But aboard the ship I might regret that choice because some other skill‘d be more handy.  There are just too many I’d like to have. “

„Then perhaps the wisest choice would be to enhance your ability to make decisions? This way if you ever  find yourself in such position again, you would not have any such problems again.“

He was right, wasn’t he? In a way.  „I like the way you think. Maybe I’d just wish for a Vulcan brain. I mean, emotional control, cleverness,  … all handy. That’s almost a super power itself.“

„There is a proverb  that states you should be careful what you wish for“, Spock stated. Suddenly he seemed a little more tense than usual. „ You spoke of the responsibilities that come with super powers. Th is case is no different. You have to keep your emotions in check at all time, otherwise society will judge you for it. And  the Vulcan mind needs constant training.  Also, it is grounded on the principles of logic. Humans seem to search for their personal happiness.  Both can be combined in theory, but often enough  in reality you can only have one or the other, because the needs of the many often outweigh the needs-“

„Of the few or the one“, you finished the sentence, but Spock shook his head.

„Of yourself .“

You swallowed hard. That wasn’t hypothetical speaking, right? He’d been through exactly those situations?  „Alright. What do you choose, then?“

„I  … do not think what I  wish for is an ability or quality that has to be found in my person.  What I would need is a change in certain aspects of society. And as that is not part of the  possibilities stated in the question, I would prefer to stay myself, just like I am.“

And again he gave you a lot to think about. Spock had been hurt in the past, hadn’t he? And he had to make impossible choices?  You wondered just how many traumas were hidden behind the carefully applied mask of emotionlessness.  And you felt your heart ache with sympathy for him.


	15. Chapter 15

After that the questions got easier for a while. Still rather private – most treasured and most terrible memories for example -, but not going into depth too much. Until question 21 after roughly three weeks of daily  discussions of the questions. You were to ask Spock – and in return he you  – what role love and affection played in his life. And you had no idea how you were supposed to ask him such question.  Not just because he was Vulcan and  asking him about emotions on that scale seemed almost racist. But also because he was Spock.  He was your anchor.  And right now, despite everything, you could picture him as warm and caring in his own way. You felt safe with him.  You could imagine you were friends. And you feared that his  answer would destroy the little bubble of imagination you had built. If he was actually cold and unfeeling, not at all valuing love or affection,  you didn’t want to know.  Yesterday’s question,  what friendship meant to him, had already been sobering enough. He had spoken about  how an easy rapport between people could enhance their work performance and that solving problems was easier if one had willing assistance.  This inherent  utilitarianism had shocked you. Though his assessment sure was right and you sometimes used the help of your friends for some different insight to your work as well, you’d never see them just as tools to reach a goal. 

Did Spock really  define friendship only based on possible utility or was that just the answer logic dictated, because everything else included emotions he was not allowed to show? And if he had spoken from the bottom of his heart, did you really want to know what he thought of love?  You didn’t want to hear about reproduction and enhancing one’s social status.  Should you just abort whatever you had started  when you asked the very first question?

“You are exceptionally quiet today”, Spock awoke you from your thoughts.  “Can you not think of any topic to discuss today?”

If you didn’t know better, you’d guessed he liked your little routine of questions.  By now the day’s topic provided enough  depth to talk all day with Spock adding to the discussion long after you’d thought it over whenever he had played through another aspect of the topic in his mind. Sometimes he stopped working just to come over to you to add another thought and discuss it, before he went back to his computer.

“I admit, I’m not the one who created all those questions”,  you said. 

“Clearly not. It would be illogical that in all the years since people have invented language, not just on your planet, but in the universe, you would be the first to think of  such basic questions.” 

You chuckled. No. You assumed many generations had asked their partners what love meant to them, even before anyone put together the list of questions. “Well,  the next one is not really applicable for... us, I guess. So I wonder whether or not to open the topic or to  find another one.”

“If you would just ask, we could decide together.”

Logical. Of course.  „Al right. Don’t judge me. So, what roles do love and affection play in your life?“

Spock’s brows  rise almost not noticeable. Almost.

„We don’t have to talk about this “, you assured him quickly.

„My mother is a  loving person. She always made sure that within the limits of our home  we knew she loved both my father and me, although  she knew neither of us  would be able to reciprocate it so freely. “

You swallowed hard, wondering what that life felt like.  Did Spock’s father  act like his son, making everyone around feel as if he could be caring, humorous, surprised, annoyed , you name it? Always having emotions close to the surface – or giving the  people around him the illusion? Or was he a hardliner? How did Spock’s mother fare in that case. Could the love of one person be enough for two of them?

„As for romantic love … It is not a topic I  prefer to acknowledge too often“, Spock went on.

You held up your hands in a gesture of surrender or  appeasement. „ Right. As I said, we don’t have to talk about it.“

„But someday I will have to.“

„Nobody can force you“, you shrugged it off, trying to give him every chance to ignore the question and whatever it might stir up in him.

„Unfortunately that is untrue. I will not go into depth, but  a Vulcan  male  cannot remain unbonded for life.  Not unless he is a master of meditation and control, which I believe I am not and could not be, given my mixed heritage.  One day I will have to  look for a mate. And as my former betrothal proved to me, I will likely not be finding a mate on Vulcan. Therefore, whether I like it or not, love and affection will have to play a role in my future life, if only so that my mate‘s needs are fulfilled.“

Well, that sounded extremely romantic.  Forcing himself to show affection, just to keep his wife, husband or whatever gender and term he chose happy? That sounded a lot like faking affection.  But then again maybe that was a deeply loving gesture for a Vulcan, to even show anything at all?  To lower himself into faking emotions or even showing his real one?  How could you know?

„What about you?“

You had dreaded that moment.  Although, honestly, there wasn’t anything juicy or too private about it. „I don’t know. I’m single,  but then who isn’t in the Fleet, right? All those short affairs at star bases or among the crew, until one of  them transfers to rank up… “ Being an Ensign, you hadn’t had that much time  to make experiences yet. But you’ve seen friends broke down in situations like that. Their partner leaving because on another ship they could climb up the ladder  quicker.  „ That’s not what I want. Meaningless affairs  are exactly that. Meaningless. Aren’t they?  And if people really need a warm body, any warm body, to hold them in the coldness of space, why  go out into space at all? I’m not saying I’m against love or affection in any way. But I’m unwilling to let them play any bigger role in my life, unless they actually mean something. “ Maybe that wasn’t the truth, exactly. Maybe sometimes you wished for a warm body  yourself. Maybe sometimes you wondered if a few months with somebody who’d likely transfer soon wouldn’t be better than spending these months completely on your own. But you wouldn’t tell Spock so. Would you? And anyways: „ Especially since that’s not love at all. Science has proven that within the first six to eight months the human mind is not in love.“

„You reference the studies from the early 21 st century?“, Spock asked. Of course he knew. He was a science officer, after all.

„Yeah. So, fleeting affairs don’t count as love anyway if they’re in the brain areas that are responsible for psychological illnesses, instead of the one where emotional connections  light up on brain scans.“ You thought for a moment. „Huh, if we look at it that way, I guess I wish, love could play a bigger role in my life. But  until then I’m okay with just friendships. After all, friendships are some kind of love as well, aren’t they? And you share affection with friends, just not the same as with a lover.“

And another thought crosse d your mind:  “You know how people tend to say that love has to be an adventure? Fire, passion, danger and so on?  I think they’re wrong. Or at least I’m different. I mean, why would I seek adventure in love?  Hell, I’m a  Starfleet officer. My life is one huge adventure. Even in the few short months I’ve been on board, we’ve almost exploded or otherwise died at least a dozen times. We live knowing that we could die out there every given day.  Why would anyone want yet another adventure. I think love should be the constant you can always come back to.  Of course there’d be ups and downs like in every other relationship. But  it should be something where you can finally let your guards down and be yourself. Where you don’t have to worry  all the time. Where you are allowed to make mistakes.  When all around you there’s death and fire and emptiness, the vastness of space with all its terrors, love should be a home. Not another uncertainty.”

You smiled, happy with yourself. This went better than you had anticipated. And somehow you had learned something about yourself as well, went down a path of your heart and mind you had ignored until today, until forced by the question. You knew, what you wanted, what you hoped, longed for. And what you didn’t want.

„I agree“, you hear Spock’s voice and look up quizzically , but he doesn’t  elaborate. And so the both of you  leave each other  to mull over your own thoughts. Unnecessary to say that neither of you got very talkative again that day.


	16. Chapter 16

After a restless night you met Spock at the kitchen table . He looked tired, not just for a Vulcan. Today he’d even look weary for the unassuming  bystander who had never seen his species before.

You merely made yourself breakfast and sat down opposite of him, not saying  anything. 

„ In order to not force you to initiate our discussions every day, I have looked up  the list .“

Oh shit. You felt yourself tense in anticipation and dread.

„Might I ask if you intended to use those questions the way they were meant to be used?  Because I do believe they were  meant to be asked within a limited time frame.“

You sigh ed . It was way too early for such a conversation.  But what were you supposed to do? „I don’t know what I want“, you say truthfully.  You didn’t, not when it came to him.  „I stumbled upon the questions looking for riddles for you. I like it when you solve riddles, you know? It’s  exciting to watch you work your way through it. And you kinda light up, when you finally have  something  that actually needs your brain to be put into it. And somehow I ended up finding the questions instead of  riddles , maybe because the article was about riddles in psychology.“

Spock nodded: „Go on.“

„At first I wanted to just close the tab and go on. But somehow I couldn’t.  It felt wrong, in a way.  And then the first question just kinda slipped. We talked and it was pleasurable.  But asking you all 36 questions in a row? No. Not only would that have been  suspicious, it also didn’t feel right , either. And so I just  used one question a day for a while, because talking to you was fun. We had something to discuss , something that wasn’t work or the virus or how illogical those TV shows are. It became an automatism, somehow.“

„So there was no  further intention beyond them?“, Spock asked.

You kept quiet for a moment, just thought about it. „I’m not sure.  I’ve asked myself the same question, when I noticed that I couldn’t or wouldn’t just forget about this. I know that right now you’re my partner in this. So I would like to get to know you better. As much as you feel comfortable with.  Above that I simply don’t know.“ In an afterthought you added: „And I don’t think I’m in the best position to objectively judge  myself right now, either. In times of crisis  people tend to have the strangest coping mechanisms. What if I just want to get to know you because it gives me something to do , not because of any kind of emotionality or because of genuine interest in your person? Not that I  don’t find you interesting. But at the moment I simply cannot know for sure what psychological motives I have.“

Well, at least even the outside viewer would have noticed that you were serving in the Science department.  Overthinking everything was a trait most common among you and your colleagues. 

„I believe, today s question was if we could name five positive traits of the other“, Spock simply stated and you blinked in surprise. He wanted to carry on with this?  Why? Did HE have any motive beyond enjoying  talking to you? But you didn’t dare ask him.

„Yeah. That’s where I probably would have stopped or jumped to a later question. Fishing for compliments  isn’t exactly … normal?“ You couldn’t think of any other fitting word, although normal was far from what you were hoping to say.  „Also it would’ve seemed kinda desperate to say ‚Hey Spock, name five things you like about me‘. That would either be flirting – and rather badly done, or a severe lack of  confidence that I’d take  out on you.“

„You are honest, maybe more than good for yourself. Creative, it seems.  Caring. Resilient, although you do not seem to believe in yourself when it comes to your own strength.  Also you are dutiful and do not shy away from work. “

You gulped, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat. Shortly you thought about lightening the mood by asking him if he could write all that down in your duty report, but you decided against it. You didn’t want to lighten the mood, no matter how awkward the moment might feel on a  superficial level. Beyond it you were moved, because it sounded as if Spock really thought highly of you. He could have chosen  less important things like how you didn’t let his food burn or you knew how to make an acceptable cup of tea. But he chose something meaningful instead.

And now it was your turn. „ Caring I can only give back. When we first stranded, I thought this would get hard. That  there would be no way I could survive living with a Vulcan who’s also my superior. I thought you would keep our contact to the absolute minimum – from your point of view. But you didn’t. You even went out of your way to  anticipate my every need. “ You smiled openly. „ That you‘re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, goes without saying.  But you’re also funny. Not sure you really want to be, but I’m sure you know how your dry wit works on humans, so I have to assume that you’re funny on purpose. And you work so hard to provide for us.  If I’m dutiful, what are you then? A super hero? Well, I guess we already had that. You sure are. “ You blushed. „And you’re all warm and soft and cuddly. If I ever have to get stuck with anyone somewhere cold again, I’d choose you every time. “

„Cuddly“, Spock arched a brow and you laughed, despite how strange the situation was.  Despite how nervous you were.

„Live with it, I’m not taking that back.“ This time you’re  b rave enough to stick out your tongue.

„And that is something you  value?“

„Depends on what I  plan on doing with a person, really. If I’m sharing a bed with you for whatever reason, you better be cuddly, though “, you replied before yawning .  The night of thinking about love and what it meant to you still weighed on you.

„ Shall I order you to get back to bed?“

„Is that your way of flirting?“, you joked .

Spock simply looked at you for a moment, before replying: „If that were what it takes to get you to  listen to your body and get enough sleep,  perhaps. But I trust you are mature enough to simply  see reason in  not overexerting  yourself. Until  the dog appears there is no harm done if you take extra care of yourself.“

You groaned softly : „I have to be mature?“  Then you nodded. „Alright. I guess I wouldn’t be of much use right now anyway. Call me if something interesting happens.“ You stood up and lightly patted his shoulder on your way out.

This had gone down better than you  had ever dared to wish. What could that mean? Why was he so  relaxed when he knew what the questions were usually meant for?  And would he really flirt with you? That was flirting, wasn’t it?  Hopefully you could sleep at all with this new set of questions  fighting for your  attention.


	17. Chapter 17

When you  awoke again it was noon .  Looking at your phone for the time, you noticed you had notifications on your phone.  You took it from your night stand and  went to find out what you had missed.  Nothing about the dog, of course.  You still weren’t sure if you should believe in its existence at all, but you trusted Spock and the Captain about it.

No, the notification was your news alert  set to tell you  when the situation in your country changed.

„Those imbeciles actually wanna re-open the schools“, you growled, when you entered the living room only seconds later. 

Spock turned and  arched a brow. Oh, right, you were still in your pyjamas.  Well, that wasn’t the entry you wanted, but there was no need to stare, either. He surely had seen  a lot of female officers in the same state of undress , at least in sickbay.  It wasn’t as if you were naked.

„They just decided that in two weeks they’ll open the schools again. And from Monday on most shops are open again, too.  Can they really be that stupid?“, you just ranted on, not paying attention to whatever way Spock might look at you.

„It seems a bit hurried indeed “, he finally said. „ I assume in short time there will be a second outspread of the virus. But  it is not up to us to change what has happened 250 years ago.“ His eyes  were fixed on yours, an urgency in them you hadn’t seen before.

You rolled your eyes. „Can’t overthrow the government and send people to their rooms without dinner anyway. So no need to look at me as if I were a second away from destroying the space-time continuum. I’m just annoyed, that’s all.  In a way, these people are my ancestors. How would you feel if you learned that  only few generations ago your people were ignorant fools?“

„A few generations ago, some among my species were terrorists.“

You blinked. Vulcan terrorists? Weren’t they the most pacifist species in the galaxy? „Alright, you win. I mean there are human terrorists even now. But humans are… well …“

„Humans?“, Spock prompted. Once more you’d sworn that he was voluntarily funny. You just weren’t in the mood to laugh.

„Exactly.“ You sighed. „Alright, I’ll calm down. But does that change anything for us?“

“Perhaps. More people out on the streets  enhances the risk of our target being seen by too many. But at the same time it is now more likely for us to find any clue as to where the dog might be.  More people outside might mean more sightings.” Or any sighting at all, you ended his sentence in your mind. That could be a good thing, but if too many people saw the dog, it could be exposed to mankind, too. “ Also, with more people outside, the risk of being stopped by  the police is declining. Perhaps we could  actually  go out and  actively  search for the dog  now.”

Going for a walk was allowed, had even been allowed during the  stricter lockdown, so you couldn’t find any reason why not. “Finally some good news ”, you admitted. “ Still I’m worried that with more people outside the virus will spread faster again.”

“ We have to act with caution. We cannot risk getting infected. But as long as we avoid crowds, we  can risk short ventures outside. ”

After  more than two months in isolation , not to mention almost another month of setting up a life here, before the lockdown came, things finally seemed to have a slight chance of  progress.  A bittersweet feeling, as  that meant that the times of sitting on the sofa with  Spock, watching TV or discussing another question,  could be over soon. No more hoping for another cold night on which you could cling to him to keep both of you warm.  No more eating side by side or even cooking together.

“I’m gonna miss you.” The words slipped out, before you could stop them.

“I will still be aboard the same ship as you will.  We will  see each other . Not as often, but  surely not never either.” 

It was just your imagination, that his voice sounded warmer than usual, you knew.  It hurt nonetheless.  Why were you so sad, all of a sudden? You had wanted to go back all that time you were here. And now? Even the slightest chance of ending this mission and you were almost tearing up.  “It won’t be the same.  I wish we could have both.” But then this here was always a forced partnership. Was it even real?  If you had the chance of every person on the Enterprise, if he had, would you still find each other interesting enough to even talk to each other? Nice enough to become real friends?

“ It is illogical to mourn a possible future that is not yet written.”

What was that supposed to mean? You didn’t ask. “Well, let’s make the best of our time here, then. And we’ll figure out the  future once it’s here.”

“What do you suggest?” 

You grinned at Spock. A little forced, but hopefully he couldn’t tell.  “ Lots and lots of good food and  tea, of movies and shows. And from next week on,  I’ll take you shopping . Okay, that’s mostly the same we’ve been doing for weeks. But from now on we’re going to enjoy it, as every day here could be our last. We’ll, our last in this era, at least.”

Spock arched a brow, looking at you pointedly. 

“Oh, don’t give me that look. You enjoy it, too. I’ve seen you with the riddles, don’t deny it.” 

“Shall we prepare lunch, then?” Huh, he really didn’t deny feeling joy.  Now that was something.

But then he was looking at you again, giving you a once over. „Though perhaps you  should reconsider your choice of clothes.“

Oh, right, still pyjamas. And now that you were  awake again, you could even still work your full hours. If you wanted and Spock let you. Somehow , though, you doubted the latter .

You gave him a quick nod and hurried back into your bedroom, changing into  something less comfortable but warmer and way more appropriate.


	18. Chapter 18

Days went by  slowly and the  second batch of radishes was almost ready to harvest. But even the slower growing vegetables were growing to be  healthy , strong plants,  promising a good harvest one day soon. Of course you had to repot  them , building new pots for them out of plastic bottles and other litter the groceries came in. By now every window sill was filled with plants, even Spock’s, you assumed, not having been in his room, but missing a few plants. You wondered if you actually wanted to leave them behind for the next tenant of the flat.  You could take them with you and have fresh vegetables on board, right? But in the end Spock would have to decide. Once you were done here, he would be your commanding officer  again, after all. Not more  being your partner  rather  than your boss.

By now Spock  brought up each day’s question, sometimes even two per day, as if he  feared you wouldn’t get to the end in time. He had found even new questions, some, that you knew weren’t on the list, but that seemed to aim in the same direction. He seemed to try really hard to get to know you as good as possible in the time you had left. Or he just liked discussing things and took your words by heart, when you asked him to enjoy his time here as much as possible.

On your rest day he might have  gotten a little over the top, though. He actually brought you breakfast to bed. Which was sweet, of course. But extremely weird nonetheless.  Not that he hadn’t been here before. But sitting next to Spock in your own bed when you didn’t shiver so badly , that your knees might tried to buckle whenever you stood up, was awkward at first.  But he was right. If you wanted to make the most of the time you still had here, you’d have to learn to indulge yourself a little more often.  You just had to find a way to repay Spock for this as you couldn’t imagine that breakfast in bed was something he’d have on his bucket list , let alone found enjoyable.

And then Monday came and went. You waited until Tuesday on purpose, to make sure that the huge onslaught of restless people on the streets was over, so you wouldn’t run into the worst crowds possible . Also you had to first craft masks for the two of you.  Like for your own shopping trips before, you used filter cones and string, mostly because you didn’t have much else. But now that you were planning to go out more often, you had to find another solution.

On Tuesday you handed Spock  a hat.  A crocheted beanie that had still been in the flat when you rented it, left behind by a former tenant. It smelled  dusty and looked like it was about to come alive from germs, as it had been hidden , or rather lost, behind a cupboard, but after you had washed it, it wasn’t too disgusting to touch it anymore. And it hid both Spock’s ears and brows and that was what  mattered most.

When he stepped out of the door, Spock  hesitated for a second. You knew why. Each time you went outside, you were astonished, how  good the air smelled. Your flat wasn’t too bad, after you had cleaned and partially fixed it. But it still smelled a bit … used.  Lived in.  You grew used to it, spending so much time inside. Outside, however, the air sm elled infinitely better.

„Dog patrol first, or would you rather go shopping first?“, you asked him after  a moment of simply breathing yourself.

„Are you sure it is  the best course of action to make our weekly purchases together?  It would doubl e our chances to get infected.“

„Yeah, but  you’re stronger than me and  I’d really like not to have an aching back after shopping this time. And I won’t let you  go in alone. You shouldn’t have to  buy meat for me , I know how disgusting you find that. We’ll just wear our masks. It’ll work out fine. Promise.“

„The masks do not lower the probability of infecting ourselves  as much as you seem to think“, Spock disagreed. „ We rather have to hope that those people who carry the virus will wear masks, too. “

„They will. It’s the law right now.  They’d be stupid not to.“

He gave you a look that needed no  other words. Humans tended to behave stupidly. And he was right.

„Let’s just hope for the best and keep our two meters of distance towards everyone except each other.“ You winked at him, trying to  look more  confident than you felt. But you weren’t that afraid of a possible infection, that you  wanted  to back off from your plan. You wanted to show him this world you were living in right now.

And so you took him to the next supermarket.  It took you more than an hour until you finally were the next in line to go in. But finally, you could show  Spock , what he had missed until today. He  seemed astonished by the number of items on display, but managed to  stick to your shopping list, while you were more of an impulse buyer, throwing snacks into your cart, whenever you saw something you didn’t know yet and wanted to try. 

“Let’s also  see if they have some  cloth or  cheap clothes, needles and so on. We don’t know how long  we’ve still got to live with this virus , so we should better stock up on masks.”

When you came out again,  you both were weighed down by a huge number of bags.  Spock had allowed you to spend a little more money than necessary today and things might have escalated...  And so you first had to head home to unpack.

„You do know that sugar is unhealthy? It raises the  risk of  a multitude of illnesses, some of them with the distinct possibility to become terminal“, Spock gave you a talk as he looked down on all the sweets you had bought.  „And the ratio of carbohydrates and fat  in snacks like chips is proven to be addictive , too, while also being unhealthy.“

You rolled your eyes but grinned. „That won’t become my  regular diet. Once we’re back on the Enterprise, the unhealthiest  food I’ll be able to get my hands on will be steak. Or the strange synthetic pudding that’s full of vitamins.“ Though  you had to admit  it did taste good. And it still had some sugar in it. But  in the end it was food created to keep officers in deep space both healthy and satisfied – which meant it wasn’t the real thing. „ Wanna tell me what’s the deal with Vulcans and sugar, while we’re at it?“, you asked, looking at Spock as innocent as possible. You had sworn yourself to find out about it, and there was no time like the present, right?

He seemed to fight with himself, before answering. „ Refined sugar  inebriates us, like you would be inebriated by alcohol.“

You gasped. Now that was interesting. Not that you’d ever want to get Spock drunk . Would you? „And you never indulge yourself, not even  a little bit? Hold on, has alcohol any effect on you, then?“

„No, and …  alcohol is still not easy to digest and  prevents burning fats until it is finally processed. But apart from that, no, alcohol does not  affect me.“

Academy parties must have been boring for him. Usually they didn’t serve many sweets there. Though you couldn’t picture Spock going to a party anyway.

It explained the bickering between Spock and the CMO, though. McCoy seemed to be a man who liked drinking with his friends.  And getting pissed while his companion were still completely sober was no fun. Or maybe they just bickered because they liked it?

„Well. More sweets for me“, you shrugged those thoughts off and  the both of you went out again, this time to finally stretch your legs after so many weeks inside, and to hopefully catch a glimpse of this freaking dog.

Spock suggested going to the local park first.  With most people inside, the dog would need another source for food  but leftovers of take away that people threw away in the streets,  and in a city there weren’t many possible other things to feed upon. Ducks , bunnies or squirrels  probably were the easiest to catch for a dog  who was used to getting its food served to it. And the only place where you could find  those tame enough to be even catchable for a dog, was where they were used to many humans with their dogs around them: The park.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me”, you sighed. 

“I did not say anything. Much less anything humorous”, Spock replied. 

“Not talking to you. Don’t you see them.”  All around you people were gathering, having a barbecue or just talking in groups.  “Don’t they understand that we still have to keep our six feet distance? ”

“Perhaps you were right in insisting that even loosening the lockdown on such small scale would be dangerous. ” Spock led you away from the bigger crowds,  keeping close to you and ... Was he glaring at people who came too close? 

“Spock?  Are those emotions that I see on your face?”, you asked, torn between amusement and shock. And maybe a hint of fear, because if Spock went feral for some reason, you had no idea how to stop it.

“No.  I only made the decision that it takes  defensive action to keep people at bay. If changing my mimics is all it takes, I do not mind being falsely accused of showing emotions, though.”

You chuckled lightly , relieved, and followed him through the park, looking for  feathers or fur that could be evidence of a fight, or even  paw prints. But you didn’t know if the dog you were looking for had paws that looked any different from those of native dogs. And since the snow had melted away it hadn’t rained at all, so , as you noticed now, the soil was dried up.  Even if you’d find any traces, they’d already be so old, that they wouldn’t held any  relevance anymore.

Walking through the park  was great , if you ignored all those other people . There were ducks swimming in the pond , singing birds in the trees, lots of flowers and  fresh air, smelling a little sweet because of all the blossoms around you. It was beautiful to feel the sun on your skin. If only you could enjoy it a little longer, but sitting down to bathe in the sun still was illegal, no matter how many people were ignoring the law.

The only thing that got annoying soon was that whenever you saw a dog, your heart rate would go up, until you realised that this was just a native  pet, incapable of breathing fire and without antennae or a horn. Soon you started to see dogs everywhere , which was a little stressful. But still, you decided, it was a small price to pay for being out here and not feeling locked up anymore.

“I believe that if our target were here, it would hide. The dog  is not used to crowds that big.  It was being kept in his owner’s quarters after all “, Spock said after you had walked the  park for almost two hours.

„Home, then?“, you asked. After all you still didn’t even know if the dog would really turn up in this particular city.

Spock nodded. „But we should come back here regularly .“

„To look for the dog or to stretch our legs?“

„Does it need to be  just one reason?“

You grinned.  Spock  was sick and tired of being locked up at home, too.  He had always acted as if everything would be okay. But hidden behind his mask, there had  been this longing to get out. You knew it!

Trying to keep a triumphant smirk off your face, you nodded your head in the direction of the park‘s exit and took off, knowing Spock would be right behind you.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mild blood in this one!

„Right, back to work“, you exclaimed enthusiastically, when you got back to your flat.  The fresh air outside had  woken you up from your lockdown-caused stupor. It had been a while since you‘d felt that alive. Why hadn’t you gone out for a walk earlier? Oh right, because back then the police might still have stopped you and as good as your ID looked, it wasn’t real and wouldn’t  pass the test.

You took off your mask carefully, throwing it away. Thankfully today was the last time you had to wear such a makeshift  thing, string stapled to a coffee  filter . After washing your hands you called out to Spock: „I’ll do a quick internet search if the dog popped up elsewhere, than I’ll start sewing our new masks. The sooner we have some that can go into the washing machine, the better.“

„ Would you like some help?“, Spock asked.

„Well, do you know how to  sew?“ You had never tried it. Why would you, in a world where cloth tended to be nearly indestructible – unless worn by the Captain – and most easy work could be done by computers or other automated tech, even matter converters?

„No.“

You snorted. „ Than I guess it would be better if only one of us bleeds to death, because they can’t handle the needle, wouldn’t  it?“ Of course you were exaggerating heavily. Still both of you worked mainly with your hands – apart from your brains – and it was more than enough if one of you was hurt.

„If you are really sure?“ Spock sounded not convinced. You wondered why. Was he curious about sewing? Or  worried again that you were doing something that long ago was considered a woman’s work, for him nonetheless?  Did he think that this was a nice social situation, sewing together?

„I can’t order you anything, so I couldn’t tell you not to help“, you said hesitantly.  „And I don’t mind company. I just wondered if both of us pricking our fingers with needles will really be worth  whatever time we could save working together, you know?“

He nodded, but followed you to the kitchen table, the only table except for the desk the computer stood on. “Then I shall refrain from inuring myself”, Spock simply said when you looked at him quizzically and you had to hold back a snort. While that sounded rather arrogant, you knew better than to underestimate Spock. Maybe he really was that good with his hands that he knew what to do to not get hurt.

After shopping you had let your new needles, threads and cloth lie on the kitchen corner so that you’d be able to start as soon as possible once you had the time. So now all you had to  to was grab it. Well, and you had to google the tutorial for an easy mask, understand it, measure the cloth so it would fit both you and Spock and then you could start sewing. Easy, right? Well, it took you two hours, before you could even start with the first mask, while Spock was already close to finishing on his first one. Show off!

„How many do we need?“, he asked , carefully stitching the needle into the cloth.  Damn graceful fingers of his, even able to do that without any kind of struggle.

„ Depends what we want to do, I guess. Cloth and thread can be washed, so I can  just disinfect them by cooking them in a normal pot, whenever we’ve worn them, so that we don’t have to wait for a washing machine to be filled.“ Spock had made clear that he did not accept washing when the machine was only half full. According to him that was a waste of water and a preventable damage to the nature with the chemicals in the washing powder . And he was right, of course. But that meant that with the few clothes you owned it could take rather long until you had enough laundry to go down to the basement and use the  community washing machine this house had.

„On normal days one for each of us would be enough. But  you’re supposed to change masks every two hours or so. So better safe than sorry. Let’s make three or so for each of us.“

Spock nodded and just kept on sewing. He was better than you, you had to admit. Which wasn’t hurting your pride, thankfully. You didn’t care how good or bad you were at this. What you cared for was getting this done as soon as possible, so that you would never think about it again.

“Ouch!” Damn, while thinking about how good you two were at sewing, you had pricked your finger. And not even just on the surface, but halfway in in a rather disadvantageous angle. If you had kept your calm, you might have simply pulled it out in the same angle, but the pain caused you to pull at the needle without assessing the situation first, causing you to rip open your skin in a length of almost a  centimetre . You grinded your teeth and shook your finger in an attempt to get rid of the pain, only to see blood pouring out. Not too much, but enough to make you grimace.

“You injured yourself”, Spock stated.

You bit back a sarcastic comment and nodded.

He just left the room and left you blinking in confusion, but soon he was back, holding almost all contents of your medicine cabinet in his hands. He put all of it down on the table and inspected your thumb, taking your hand into his own. Again his touch somehow prickled on your skin and you tried your best to clear your mind and ignore the goose bumps he had evoked.

Spock didn’t show any sign of feeling something odd, he just browsed through your medical stuff, and put something onto your wound. You flinched away in pain.

“I need to disinfect the wound. Would you please hold still?”, he asked and reached out to pull your hand closer to him again, using the same stuff, a liquid, on you again.

“But it hurts.” You might have been whining, but you didn’t even care. Whatever he was doing was way more hurtful than the wound itself.

“It is necessary.” 

You groaned. “It’s just a tiny wound, Spock. It hurts and it bleeds, but it’s not as bad as it looks. Tomorrow it’ll be forgotten already.” Even paper cuts hurt worse. Not that he knew how often you had cut yourself already since you arrived. You really missed data padds. You tried to wiggle your finger that was still in his grip. “I didn’t damage any muscle or sinew either, I think. So really no need for all this fuss.”

“We do not know for certain if this era does not come with any sort of germs you humans are no longer immune against.  Therefore I need to make sure you will not get sick”, Spock insisted. He then picked up a salve and squeezed a fair amount of it onto your skin before placing a band-aid above it. You  kinda expected him to be sealing it with a kiss like your parents would’ve done when you were a kid. Of course he didn’t, though, and you might have felt a little disappointed. “Perhaps it would be best if I were the one to sew our masks, while you …” He faded off. You wondered if he didn’t know how to go on. You weren’t useless, after all, right? Surely there had to be something productive for you to do.

“Yes?”

„Continue our search?“, he suggested and you sighed silently.  As many nice memories you had made during your time here,  and there were quite a lot by now, you had to admit, your original mission  was just frustrating and grew more so every day.

„Alright, I’ll be in the living room . At least if you plan to release my hand any time soon.“

Spock looked down and seemed surprised. You were right. He hadn’t let go of your hand after  treating your wound. „Why not use your phone?“, he asked, slowly, almost  involuntarily releasing you from his grip.

„Don’t you need the  tutorial?“

He just arched a brow and you took it as a no.  Once again you  envied his  better than human brain. But you  wouldn’t give up your humanity  for anything, not after learning much about the pressure Spock seemed to live with every day.

„Right, then … I’ll stay here.“

Spock still didn’t reply, but  looked … satisfied?  Strange. Had he grown so attached to you that he didn’t like to miss your company anymore?  But you didn’t want to leave his side either, anyway.

Both of you worked in companionable silence, except for the few moments in which Spock had to make sure the masks would fit you, stepping up to you and lightly pressing the material onto your nose. His thumb was brushing your cheek more than once and you could feel his breath in your neck when he tied the ribbons, making sure that everything was just as it should be. And you had to admit, he was a good tailor. But he was even better at giving you goose bumps and making you wish he’d keep the skin contact just a little longer.

Soon he had  crafted all cloth you owned into masks and  put them into a pot to cook them as disinfection , when your phone beeped.

You opened the notification and stared at the screen. Every wish of body contact with Spock forgotten when you stared at the picture somebody had uploaded on the internet. „Now THAT is not a native species“, you said.

Spock came over to you and looked  over your shoulder at the screen, where something like a small giraffe  with scales on its legs  was visible. „No, it is not.“

„Is it fake?“, you asked, for there were a lot of strange things on the internet. People liked to dress up as or otherwise create ‘aliens’ that looked way more foreign than anything you had seen in your time on the Academy and in active duty.

„It is of alien origin. I have once seen one  myself.“

„So, should we … do something about it?“

„Absolutely not“, Spock stated. „This is not our mission and we know that humanity’s first official contact with alien life forms was when my great-grandfather met with Cochrane. Somebody must have made sure that this creature will not be recognised as alien and we will not interfere with that person.“

His great-grandfather? Wow, his family really had a history of mingling with humans, then.  „But what if it traveled in time as well and  shouldn’t really be here?“

„In that case somebody else will be sent after it and again it would be wise for us to not interfere in any way”, Spock made clear.

“But what if they don’t because it had always been our role in history to preserve the time line as it is?”, you kept asking. Were you a bit too eager? Did you actually want to go after that creature? You were not so sure. It was an adventure, finally, after so many weeks of waiting now. But at the same time chasing after yet another animal – was it one? Was it sentient? - was not exactly what you longed for. All you wanted was to find the one pet you actually were sent here to find. Or maybe not even that … 

“If, by the time we can go back to the Enterprise, this animal has damaged the time line, we can still come back and undo whatever damage done. We now know where and when to go and could prevent this picture from ever being taken, should it really become necessary. Until then, one mission at a time.”

And  so you nodded and accepted Spock’s decision, not sure if you were pleased or worried. If nothing, not having to go after yet another alien left you with more time to think about his hand on yours, his fingers on your cheeks. And when you felt your thoughts wandering there again and again, you decided that chasing animals might have been the better, less turmoil inducing alternative.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CN/TW: SPIDER!

You awoke with a light shriek. Something was there, in the dark. On you. At first you thought you were woken by a hair on the blanket that tickled you. It wouldn’t have been the first time, after all. It was astonishing how many  hair a day a person could lose – and find again on the clothes or floor or even in their food. But now, trying to catch your breath again, you were lying still in your bed and still you felt something move.

You fumbled for the switch of your bedside lamp and finally found it. If only you hadn’t. As soon as your eyes adjusted to the light you saw the huge spider sitting on your chest, right above the collar, crawling closer to your neck.

At this you jumped out of bed, violently shaking the spider off you and fleeing out of the room. You closed the door behind you, to make sure it couldn’t follow you and precipitately rushed into Spock’s bedroom. Only when you also closed his door behind you did you notice where you went and had to ask yourself, why the heck you’d run directly to Spock. You could have spent the rest of the night on the sofa, after all. It wasn’t comfortable and far from warm, but maybe better than waking up your commanding officer?

“Y/N.” You had never heard his voice with any sign of fatigue before. It sounded rougher than you had ever imagined possible, but not angry. Well, of course not. He might have opened up to you a bit, but he was still a Vulcan. “What are you doing here?” A very good question, you had to admit.

“Fleeing from a spider.” Now that you thought about it, it sounded really stupid, didn’t it? But what were you to do? Fire a phaser at it? While it was sitting on your chest? Not to mention that you had come to this time without phaser or communicator, to not risk damaging the time line further. Still, being a proper  Starfleet officer, always on the front line of adventure and danger, you should probably not be scared of a little spider. Only, it hadn’t been little.

„The spider is probably more afraid of you than you are of it“, Spock stated calmly and you snorted.

„You sound exactly like my mother.“

„ Curious. I was trying to sound like mine.“

You started at him. Was Spock trying to console you? Comfort you? Making jokes so that you forget your fear? It might have been working, at least a little. Now you were picturing Baby Spock’s first encounter with a spider and how his mother told him exactly what he had just told you. 

„You are shivering“, he observed and climbed out of his pile of blankets. Spock was wearing nothing but his Starfleet regulation briefs. You wondered why, if he was so cold all the time. But maybe the clothes of this time were just too uncomfortable to sleep in or he got tangled up in trouser legs and sleeves at night and couldn’t stand them. Maybe he had just worn them in the nights with you, to uphold the illusion of modesty? But what astonished you even more was the light fur on his chest. Rather animalistic for a species that tried to be as far away from undisciplined animals as possible. Or was that an heirloom from his mother’s side?

„Y/N?“,  he tried to catch your attention.

„Huh?“ You blushed. Hopefully he hadn’t noticed that you might have stared a little too long.

„Get under the blankets while I try to hunt down and dispose of your spider.“

Instead of arguing that you didn’t want to impose on him or that he could leave the spider alone for one night, you nodded gratefully and crawled into his bed. It was as warm as you remembered from the two nights of shared body heat. And so comfortable. You snuggled deep into the warmth and watched Spock just put on his winter coat, before he left the room, carefully closing the door behind him, to make sure the spider wouldn’t come after you.

When Spock came back, you had already drifted into a light slumber and  he decided not to  wake you again. He just slipped under the covers beside you and  went back to sleep for the short time he still decided to grant himself.


	21. Chapter 21

You awoke when somebody was shaking you lightly, ever so softly.

“Y/N, I would really need to visit the bathroom soon”, you heard Spock’s voice and opened your eyes. How did you manage to end up sprawled out half across him? Last time you saw him he was out on a monster hunt. Well, spider. Same difference. He must have come back afterwards. But still that didn’t explain how you got all touchy-feely with him.

You groaned and tried to shift your body off of him and with his help you managed to free Spock. You snuggled deeper into the blankets while you watched him hurry out of the room. Nice to know that some necessities were the same among most species, you thought with a tired smile. You knew he had to pee and although you’ve never seen or smelled him sweat, he was also showring every other day. But never before had you gotten the impression that any of it was in any way urgent. Grinning, you let your head fell down onto the pillow again and enjoyed a few more moments of waking up slowly. 

When he entered his room again, you were still in his bed, stretching lazily beneath the covers. “Did you catch it? Last night? The spider?”, you asked and watched as he put on his clothes. Somehow you had wished he could have come back to bed, but you knew this wouldn’t be happening.

“Did you doubt me?”, he simply replied with a question of his own. You could’ve sworn he was teasing you again.

“Against such fearsome beast? Sure I did. Now, what did you do with it?”

“I opened the window and let it out. A simple solution to a simple problem.”

“Still you let me stay here over night”, you noted, patting the bed beneath you.

“It seemed logical. Waking you up again would result in you having an even less restful night.”

“So you just accepted that I got a little clingy … Huh. Curious.” 

Spock didn’t catch the bait. “It was not the first night we spent together. Why would it be different now?”

Good question. Just that now you had a good answer. “Skin contact. You’ve never been so ... undressed before. Isn’t that awkward for Vulcans? They do warn us about touching Vulcans at the Academy, you know?” 

“Again, it was not the first time we touched directly.”

You remembered his hand on your forehead, feeling for a fever. His hand on yours when he took care of your wound yesterday. Both unnecessary, but not unwelcome. You remembered how your skin tingled under his touch. “And yet you endure it again and  again.“ So many other moments came to your mind. Keeping close to you in the park yesterday. Never actually touching, but always close enough that he could, if need be. Teasing, something that could have been flirting. Spock caring for you and supporting your every madness. He even helped you with the seedlings, having learned a lot about gardening from his mother.

What was that? What was there between the both of you that he was so soft and understanding around you? You looked up into his eyes, not knowing exactly what you were searching for. His eyes were of the rather human warmth as always, calm. But apart from that there was nothing you could decipher, nothing that provided any answers to the questions you didn’t speak out aloud.

“I guess I should get up and dress, too, then”, you decided. Whatever answers there were out there, or inside of you, they wouldn’t just disappear if you let them rest a while longer. “Another day’s work ahead of us.”

Spock just nodded, but it felt like the air just went colder. Not much, but whatever moment you might have shared, had passed without you seizing it.

“Indeed.”

You sighed silently and stood up, leaving the room to go back to yours and the bathroom.

When you were ready to start the day, Spock awaited you in the kitchen, breakfast ready and the plants already watered. The new batch of radishes was finally starting to grow into healthy, dark red roots.

Everything felt just like yesterday. Even the band-aids that were still there. You wondered, why. Did he expect you to hurt yourself again? Did he want to inspect how well your tiny wound was healing? But yesterday was gone. The last night was gone. And somehow it hurt to see everything like it was before. But what would you have done, if you could turn back time just a little? You didn’t know.

“Shall we go for our walk first or would you prefer to go later?”, Spock asked between bites. If he had noticed anything off between you this morning, he didn’t show it.

“So early most people will either be working or still asleep, I assume. I mean, if I wouldn’t have anything to get out if bed for, I’d still be sleeping.” Not that this was a good coping mechanism. But you could picture people struggling to get out of bed at all, in a crisis like this. “I guess it’s better to go out soon. And maybe once more in the evening, when people are back cooped up in their homes.”

“You want to go looking for the dog twice a day?”, Spock asked. 

You shrugged. “Why not? It’s our mission, after all. And we  wanna get home, soon, don’t we?” Didn’t you? You missed the Enterprise, sure. But somehow the life you had built up for yourself began to feel not so bad after all. Living with Spock. Growing some of your food yourself, spending the evenings together, teasing. There were some things you missed, sure. Like taking simple shots so you wouldn’t menstruate instead of using antiquated methods that Spock fortunately never had spoken a single word about when he must have saw them in the bathroom.

But all things considered, you weren’t so sure what exactly you wanted. Not, that it mattered. You didn’t have a choice either way. You couldn’t speed up getting home, and you couldn’t avert it.

Only a little later you stepped out of your flat again, making your way to the park, Spock always keeping close to you and once again wearing a mask of emotions to scare away people coming too close to either of you. Well, beyond the real mask he had sewn himself. But except for some people going for a run to keep healthy, as soon as you entered the park the paths were deserted. 

You chose a route around the duck pond and walked slowly, prolonging the time you could spend outside. Your eyes were fixed on your surroundings, taking in the plants again, for any sign of movement between them. Any glimpse of the rather orange looking dog. And where there were no bushes or flowers, you were searching the soil for anything out of the ordinary.

“There.” You spotted something on the ground and squatted down, picking up a few feathers. “Could be a sign of a fight.”

“Indeed, it could. But even if so, we cannot rule out stray cats or a native dog escaping its leash”, Spock pointed out.

“You know, that optimism thing still needs a little work”, you teased Spock, looking around for paw prints, although you knew it was useless. It still hadn’t rained. Poor plants. Hopefully there wasn’t a  full-grown draught coming up.

“Optimism is  seldomly funded on logic or facts. I prefer to be realistic.”

You looked up at Spock and smiled beneath your mask, almost losing yourself in his dark eyes, when something lightly nudged your calf and ruined the moment. You turned around in surprise and saw a dog looking at you with its big brown eyes. Its  mane looked dirty and in need of brushing and its horn sported a few scratches. It looked hungry and abandoned. But it was there. Here. Suddenly, just like that. Coming up to you like it knew you were from its own time and that it could trust you. Well, maybe the dog could still smell the 23 rd century on you, after such a long time?

“So, I guess that’s the end, then”, you sighed and just now Spock looked from the feathers to the small animal next to you.

“Oh.” He didn’t say anything more and even that exclaim of mild surprise was so out of character, it startled you. But you could see the look on his face and for a moment he looked as lost as you felt. All the struggle, all the hope, all the work to build yourselves a life. Growing comfortable. All was over just like that. With the most anticlimactic moment in your life. 


	22. Chapter 22

You didn’t go back to your time directly. You still had some things to take care of, to make sure nobody would look for you. And for your own peace of mind. Spock quit your lease and paid the last two months of rent until you could get out in advance. You helped him finish a few commissions he had still open. Then there was the food you had to eat, because right now none of the charities giving food to the poor were allowed to open and you wouldn’t want it to go to waste.  Of course the dog helped with that, hungry little pest. If it wouldn’t be so cute, you’d be annoyed by it stealing your food from the plate.

You also cancelled your subscriptions. The money you had earned with surveys wasn’t enough to get another voucher, so decided to just let it be. Nobody would ask where you’ve gone. Nobody would miss having to pay you anything, you were sure. You ate the last radishes, too, and decided to re-pot most of the other plants to the small grass patch in front of the house, marking each plant with a sign what was growing here so that nobody would rip them out as weed. You gathered you couldn’t take all of them with you and that the few other tenants in this hellhole might be happy to get some food for free. Hopefully that wasn’t too much of interfering already. At least Spock didn’t talk you out of it, so he wasn’t worried about a few plants damaging the time line either.

What you didn’t take care of was what was between you and Spock, though. In the hurry to clean up all the remaining signs of your being here, you simply didn’t find the energy or the bravery. And if he didn’t come to you, asking what would happen to the both of you now, it probably wasn’t real, anyway, right? There was nothing between the you two, nothing, at least, that went beyond simple, if nice comradery. Nothing that he feared you could lose when you went back. Or maybe he just didn’t want to think about it, just now? Just like you did? He wanted to enjoy the last few nights of Netflix and falling asleep on the sofa together? Of cooking food side by side and walking the dog late at night, so that nobody could see you? A few days of life as something that felt almost like family?

And then the food was eaten, the projects finished, and you were ready. You had packed everything you wanted to keep into a bag, except for two plants you carried in their pots. Spock carried the dog, wrapped into a blanket so nobody could see its … special features, as well as another rucksack full of clothes. That was all that was left of your life here. And soon that life faded away around you, only to be replaced by the Guardian of Forever and the rocky landscape around it. You were home.


	23. Chapter 23

Your quarters felt small and cramped, now that you were back. Your flat back in the 21 st century hadn’t been big, and really, you could be glad that you had quarters of your own anyway, not having to bunk with somebody. But still, you felt like the walls were suffocating you and missed the rooms back in the past, separated by real doors and not just a partition wall.

You missed having your own kitchen, too. It would’ve been nice to be able to calm yourself down with a cup of tea whenever you felt like it, without having to go to the mess hall. But what you missed most was knowing that there’d always be somebody to talk to, just a door away. Somebody to get rid of your spiders and to warm you when you were shivering – even if that somebody actually just longed for warmth themselves.

Trying to cover those emotions beneath a mountain of work, you started unpacking, making sure your plants were beneath a light source and hoping that would be enough to keep them growing. You had to figure out a way to make sure the pots wouldn’t fall down whenever the ship was shaking from yet another attack or space anomaly. But that was a topic for another day.

The clothes you had taken with you would be donated to the ship‘s storages, so that they could be used whenever that style of clothing was needed for another landing party, just like the last bit of money that Spock had drawn from your bank account before closing it for good. The masks you still had to use, though. Well, you could use 23 rd century masks, but McCoy hadn’t forbidden those Spock made, either. And somehow it was nice to know that you were wearing something his hands had crafted.

„Just a precaution anyway“, McCoy had said. „I don’t find anything off in your blood or saliva, and I assume we’re all immune against the virus, but before I can find any trace of it, I can’t compare it to what we have in our databanks. Better safe than sorry.“ So for a few days you had to wear a mask and keep your distance whenever you left your quarters, until a second test could show whether or not you had just gotten infected the day you came home, giving the possible virus enough time to reproduce itself to such an amount that could be found in your body.

That also meant being in some kind of lockdown again.

Your fingers lightly brushed over the phone Spock had bought you and you smiled. You had taken it with you, in the hopes of finding a way to recharge the battery here as well. You didn’t want to miss the pictures you had taken in the past. Spock watering the plants, Spock arching a brow at you taking pictures of him watering the plants. Pictures of the colour palettes he had chosen for some commissioned websites, with a little help from you. He had also agreed to take a picture of the two and you and the dog. The dog that tried to lick his face while you were waiting for the timer.

Sighing you put the phone aside and went on unpacking. The last few bags of chips and other snacks. The remaining tea. Huh, you had assumed that you had packed it in Spock’s bag, as he was more addicted to real tea than you were – though you would never use the word ‘addicted’ in front of him. You’d find a way to hand the tea over to him, you decided, once your new quarantine was over. You put the small cardboard boxes aside and went on. 

The bucket full of small bottles of alcohol was what you found next. You hadn’t even tasted a single one of them yet, because somehow you never felt like it. Especially after you had learned that Spock would be unaffected by it. It was no fun getting drunk alone. You had promised to give the remaining flasks to McCoy, but somehow you didn’t want to. After all they were a reminder of your life back in the past. It wasn’t fitting to give them away. You’d drink them yourself, one day. Whenever you needed something to remember the trip by. 

Soon you had nothing left to do but write your mission report and so you sat down on your desk and began working .  But now you had nothing left to keep your mind from  wandering to Spock again and again.

Your door chimed and only now did you notice that you had spent hours working on your report, without having written more than a few paragraphs about the first days. You hadn’t even gotten to the point where you had first heard of the virus.

„I’m under quarantine“, you called out, hoping that whoever was outside would go away. Not that you‘d  mind the company. But you didn’t wish to risk anyone’s health.

„So am I“, you heard a voice outside. Although muffled by the door, you knew exactly who’s voice that was – mainly because there was only one person other than you under quarantine right now, as far as you knew. You hadn’t expected to see that person again so soon. Your heart started beating a little faster.

„Come in, Spock.“

The door opened and you saw the Vulcan  wearing a mask that looked … strange.  The material shimmered in the lights of your quarters and it looked as if it was only barely there,  not  remotely like the thick and rather rough cloth  you wore. He was carrying a  tray full of food.

„So you’re  on the same boat , huh? “, you asked. 

„ It is called a ship“,  Spock replied. „And if you forgot that I was aboard, too, you should consider visiting sickbay.“

By now you knew he was just joking. Funny, how much one could learn to read faces and voices as void of emotion as Spock’s when one was living with him for more than four months. It made you feel warm and fuzzy to know that even here he was still joking around you. Though maybe it was just an old habit that died hard.

„I thought perhaps you would prefer company during dinner“, Spock went on and set the tray down on your work desk, before taking of his mask and  looking around for any possibility to dispose of it without possibly contaminating any surface.

„Just throw it onto the pile of our 21 st century clothes”, you said and pointed over to a pile in the corner of the room furthest from your bed. “They have to be washed before going into storage anyway.“ And so he did.

„ How do you fare ? “, Spock asked and only sat down when you gestured him to.

At first you just shrugged. You didn’t really know how to reply to that. It had only been a few hours since you came back home and after such a long time it still seemed unreal to be back. „I guess it’ll take time to fully arrive and acclimatise. I  kinda miss living with you already, though. It’s rather lonely, not having somebody around.“

„After our quarantine you could apply for a roommate.  It is , after all, common for a junior officer to share  quarters with a  colleague .“

Spock was right, of course. You had never really thought about it. Admittedly, you had known that most Starfleet officers still had to bunk together after Academy. But when you came to the Enterprise you had been given a room of your own and never once questioned it.  Of course you knew that this was common for senior officers, mostly ranking Lieutenant Commander and above or department heads like Lieutenant Uhura. But you had seen other lower ranking officers having quarters of their own, too, like the historian. And even  Garrovick , who was just an Ensign, like you, and just one among many security officers. 

Maybe the Enterprise, as a flagship that was able to carry hundreds of ambassadors plus their respective delegation, just had an overabundance of rooms that were left unused most of the time and the Captain had chosen to make use of them whenever there was no diplomatic mission coming up? And then there was the thing with being in space for five years. A man with such reputation surely didn’t expect his crew to stay celibate for the duration of the mission – but intimacy while the roommate was snoring in the other bed was hard to accomplish. Maybe most of you having your own quarters was therefore a wisely calculated move of the Captain.

„I wouldn’t want just any roommate. And we didn’t exactly share our bedroom, either. That’s not something I’d be looking forward to doing again, at least not with a stranger.“ Four years of Academy had sobered you up enough about whatever romanticised illusion you had had of shared quarters.

„So you just wish for me as your  … flatmate“, Spock concluded and you tried to swallow down the lump that  had instantaneously formed in your throat. That was how you could be understood, right? And there was no other way to understand it.

„ … I got used to you being around“, you tried to talk your way out of any possible implications.

Spock inclined his head and took a first spoon full of the soup he had brought as his dinner, while you stared down at your plate and took a fork full of your own food, although you didn’t feel hungry anymore. You were just a little too nervous. Back in the 21st century things had been rather easy going between the both of you, especially after you had gotten into the habit of spending the evening and most meals together. But now...?

What were you doing here?  It was obvious that there was a big elephant in the room that you weren’t talking about. And maybe it was you who had to take the final step. After all Spock had opened up to you a lot more than you had ever thought possible and one could count that as him taking the first step, right? Maybe even without you giving him something in return.

But if you had misunderstood any of this, working aboard the Enterprise might get a little … awkward. Probably enough to warrant a transfer. Maybe all of this was just him doing his job, making sure your physical and mental health were optimal.

And you still were in  an exceptional  situation. You couldn’t trust yourself, right?

Still… You had to know.

„Spock?“

„Yes, Y/N?“

Why did he have to make it so hard? „Do you remember the 36 questions?“, you had an idea of how to touch the subject with at least a minimum of subtlety, but at the same time without the possibility of being misunderstood.

„I have to remind you that my memory is better than most  humans‘ .“

„Then you also do remember what they were meant for, according to psychologists. … You asked me why I used them and when I replied, you ... just went on. You even began initialising the discussion. Might I ask, why?“

„There was not much else we could do, and I am, after all, a science officer. “

So you had been an experiment to him? Maybe you should feel insulted, but he had experimented on himself just as well. And you were the one to start all this, after all.  So you actually both started experimenting on each other without formal consent. Which meant you actually both did something morally wrong.

But there was something else about him seeing it as an experiment, that intrigued you: „That means you were open to whichever possible result. Otherwise you would have already distorted the experiment the moment it  began.“

„That is  correct.“ His damn calm eyes were fixed on you.

You swallowed hard. Something inside you wanted to flee. This conversation was just a little too hard, felt too forced, and was too emotionally intense at the same time. But you couldn’t shake the feeling that some of the intensity of the moment was Spock toying with you. Not out of actual malice, but maybe because he liked to see you squirm?

„Is there any interesting result to your experiment?“, you asked and tried to sound as matter-of-factly as you could.

„Is there to your own?“

Okay, maybe he did toy with you out of malice. Right now you wondered, if he was downright evil. But maybe he was just as hesitant as you, not wanting to reveal something of himself if there was a chance he could get hurt. Rejection probably wasn’t easy, even for a Vulcan. Still, forcing you to strip your soul first, was not the nicest behaviour, since he must have known you wouldn’t start the topic if he had to fear rejection, mustn’t he?

„We’re still within the first six to eight months“, you said with a sigh, knowing he’d understand you were talking about what you had discussed when the questions asked about the role of love in your life. Within the first six to eight months the ‘feelings’ for another person lit up in the brain area linked to some psychological illnesses and not in the one reserved for actual emotional bonds, making the crush, or whatever you’d call it, more similar to a mental problem than true love.

„ That we are.“

„It could still be just … some kind of madness. No real emotions. It could even still be a coping mechanism. You’re still the only person I can spend my time  with.“ That you reasoned against any emotion being true was enough to point out, that you did feel something, whether real or just a mental illness.

„But you would choose to spend your time with me even if you could choose from everyone in the  crew.“ It was a  statement, Spock didn’t even need to ask. Could he read you that easily? Or did he just project what he himself was feeling onto you? Which would mean, he was feeling it, too. Whatever ‘it’ was.

„Well, sometimes I’d choose somebody else. Or doing something in a bigger group. But …  yes.“ You couldn’t imagine Spock would like to play ball in zero gravity. For that you’d still need your friends.  Also it seemed unhealthy to just stick to a single man, woman, or other 24/7, without spending time with others every now and then.

„I prefer to play chess with the Captain, too. With all due respect, you were no challenging opponent”, Spock stated matter-of-factly, though his lips quirked slightly.

You had to chuckle, despite the still rather awkward situation.

„So…“

„So?“

„You and me … are we a thing?“ , you asked.

„It would appear so.  I cannot den y …“ You could see Spock’s brain working overtime to choose his words carefully. „I cannot deny that I do not like the thought of going back to the rapport we had before our mission.“

„You mean never talking to each other, let alone seeing  each other more than once every few days in the mess hall?“

Spock nodded. „I would prefer to see you more often than that and I do not mind having conversations with  you.“ Now, wasn’t that romantic, you thought and had to hold back a snort. It wasn’t as if you’d been downright passionate in your choice of words either, and you hadn’t been brought up on Vulcan, so you couldn’t blame him.

„As for everything else … time will tell?“, you asked, if only to say something at all.

Once more Spock nodded. „Indeed. Neither of us can be sure if whatever we might … feel will prove durable. But I see no reason to refrain from spending time with each other during this period of uncertainty.“

You bit back a smile. Oh, yes, you could read him by now, at least whenever he didn’t hold back even more than usual. What he was trying to say was that he’d miss you, if he would have to wait until … until what? Even if love was only to be defined as such after a certain period, waiting until this period was over without any contact certainly would lead to love being lost. An emotional bond could only grow if emotions were lived, not suppressed, right?

That left only one question: „Why didn’t you say so earlier? Why having me guess what you felt, if I could or should approach you?“

„It  was  me who came to your quarters“, Spock replied, arching his brow.  He looked at you with barely concealed amusement.

You shook your head in fond exasperation. „ Damn Vulcan subtlety. One would think it would be logical to speak one’s mind without  beating around the bush.“

„Which is true in situations in which logic is applicable at all. Where emotions come to play, logic does not always prevail. One of the reasons Vulcans would frown upon emotions, if frowning upon was no emotional reaction itself.” Once again you were sure that Spock rather tried to lighten up the mood and maybe you loved him for that. It told you that with all your differences you were still on the same wavelength.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CN: Kissing

The door chimed. You had just gotten back from work and had spent half of your shift cleaning the lab after an experiment went wrong. Nothing unusual, though. You could count the days on which nothing went wrong on the fingers of one hand. That was just what science was. To test a theory experiments that didn’t work were just as important as those that brought the result you had expected.

„Come  in“ , you called. You had planned to spend the rest of the day curled up on your bed with either a good book or some other kind of entertainment, once you got out of your dirty uniform, but you didn’t mind visitors either.

You didn’t have to look up to his face to recognise Spock, by now you’d spot his posture even in a sea of thousands of people. Especially when his hands were behind his back like now. Still, you DID look up, because you simply liked looking at his face with those soft brown eyes and the ears you have to remember not to call cute because obviously Vulcans aren’t cute. “Hi.”

“Hello.”

You bit back a smile. After all this time Spock was still Spock. You had to prompt him for almost everything, even if he came to you to tell you something. You wondered if that was just a trait of his. That he wasn’t sure if you had time or if you were interested in talking at that very moment and that he wanted you to decide whether or not he should begin a longer conversation. Except for important stuff. If something was important or tradition like your questions back in the past, he could be very blunt and straightforward, even to the point where it was a little too much.

“What brings you to me?  Wanna spend the evening together? Did I forget our date?” It wouldn’t be the first time. After busy days sometimes you didn’t keep in mind to meet Spock in the evening. Which had led to him leaving you little messages to remind you that he would be waiting for you or that he would come to you at a specific time. Which in return led to you acting as if you forgot even more often, just because you liked getting messages from him. By now you were rather sure he knew, because his messages got less and less pragmatic and more poetic – Vulcan poetry, but still. But today you hadn’t seen any messages from him.

„You have not forgotten any date as we did not have one today. But a date it is. A rather memorable one.“

You looked puzzled. Was today any special day? It wasn’t  Valentine‘ s, no Christmas or Easter, no Hanukkah, or  Jom Kippur, no Eid al- Fitr , or Eid al-Adha, no Diwali, Vesak, Samhain. It wasn’t Federation Day either. Not even Interplanetary Book Day. And you had no idea if the Vulcans had any religious or secular holidays. „I’m at a loss.“

„I expected you to be.  Keeping track of time during a period that includes time travel is something most humans find complicated.“

You should be insulted. Spock did like to point out skills in which humans were inferior to Vulcans a lot. But you knew he didn’t get a push for his ego out of it. You weren’t sure he had an ego at all. He was simply stating facts and yeah, since humans still tended to mark time with the use of a calendar, even now that the  star date was used, time travel made that a bit difficult.

„Today marks the eight month anniversary of  the last of 36 questions.“

„Oh”, was all you could say at first. Okay, that was a memorable day. And you intended to mark it in your personal calendar later, so you wouldn’t forget about it. You were surprised he valued that date at all, though. That was rather sentimental, would have been even for a human.

„I gather you are still interested in being my  partner?“ There was a slight smirk on Spock’s lips. He knew for sure. Which made clear for you that he was all in into this, too. He would not have asked and risked to hurt you worse than necessary if he wasn’t.

You crossed the space towards him  and pressed your lips onto his.  Huh, curious. He kissed you back alright, but usually his hand would search for yours when you kissed the human way, so that he could bring your fingers together as well.  You liked it. You missed it! You let your hand glide down his arm to his hands and …

Spock stepped back. You frowned. Did you do something wrong? He never minded you touching him in private before. But he didn’t look ashamed or in need of distance, emotional or otherwise. In fact, you would have guessed that his eyes were smiling, although his lips kept from showing outward signs of amusement or affection.

„I believe it is customary to bring botanical lifeforms for such an occasion. I prefer not to kill any living being for a sign of affection,  though.“ He brought his hands out from behind his back and you could see he held collection of little bags of seeds. „And I believed that vegetables – and this time also fruits - would be a more pragmatic gift.“

You couldn’t hold back a grin. „Admit it, you prefer freshly grown vegetables as well. You can live with this synthetic or overbred crap, sure. But once you tasted the real thing, you knew what you have missed.“

„To deny a truth would be illogical. But I was only thinking about what you would prefer. And you seemed to have liked to  grow your own food – together with me.“

It was true. You had never believed it possible, being a child of the 23 rd century. But you had grown to enjoy gardening, especially side by side with Spock. And you looked forward to starting to grow even more. Though you’d have to find a more fitting space than just the small shelves. Maybe you’d ask one of the engineers to work with you on some pots or patches of soil that were solid enough to not mind when the ship got shaken by yet another anomaly.

Maybe you could even turn a greater portion of your quarters into a hydroponic garden? Though that would mean you had to either make do with less space for yourself or you had to partially move in with Spock and you didn’t know how he felt about that . You never really spent much time in his rooms, and you didn’t see each other daily either.

You assumed that was a thought for another day. You’d find enough space to plant your seeds, you were sure. If necessary, you could turn them into an experiment, planting them in soils from many different planets to see if they could grow in them. The ship had so many labs,  surely they’d give you some space in one of them. But today wasn’t about gardening. Today was about Spock and you.

„They’re perfect“, you whispered and  kissed Spock again . Absentmindedly you  reached behind you,  putting the bags of seeds onto your desk, so  your hands were free to reach for Spock’s .

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you had thought Spock subtle when first talking about his feelings, you learned that he had been rather talkative back then. It took him years to tell you about Pon Farr and even  then you had to prompt him more than ever. Not that he’d ever had to fear you leaving him. You certainly were no match made in heaven, you sure had your differences and difficulties. But neither of you would’ve ever left the other. Not even when you noticed Spock’s tendency to jump in front of everything trying to attack the captain – or you, for that matter. A trait of his that you  definitely could live without. Spending days on his bedside, waiting for him to wake up or trying to get green blood out of your uniform became common  pastimes of yours for long years.

One could say you hurt your career for him. Maybe that was true. When offered a promotion to fill a job opening on another ship, you denied to stay with Spock. But then  again he denied a command of his own as well, because he was more than content with serving on the Enterprise. And over the years you got promoted aboard the Enterprise as well. And once he left the ship, you followed him wherever he would go – only to often end up serving about the Enterprise yet again. Thankfully once you were officially bonded, Starfleet knew not to separate the two of you. Thank you, Vulcan High Command!

When you first got back to earth for a prolonged time, because the Enterprise needed a refit, with Spock teaching at the Academy and you working in yet another lab for the time being, you reached out to a real estate agent. You found out the coordinates of your flat in the past and learned that nowadays there were small houses with not so small gardens, surrounded by a park, that still held the pond you had walked along when you found the dog.

You didn’t have to think twice.  So you bought one of the houses. The one exactly where you had planted your vegetable plants about 250 years earlier. Not because you really wanted to settle down here for good. Not when Spock still didn’t really like the European winter or winter- ish spring. But sentimentality simply made it impossible, not to want to go back to that place now that you were grounded on earth for a while, and later on whenever you were in orbit around earth again.

Of course you had a garden there. A garden with lots of fruits and vegetables growing there, with a small pavilion in which Spock and later your children and even later your grandchildren would meditate in if the weather allowed it.

But when you grew older, what you loved most was the wooden bench on which Spock and you would sit in the warm sunshine. Sitting in the place that built the foundation of your love you would tell your grandchildren of the adventures in time and space you had had in your time. As much as you loved Spock’s home on Vulcan, as well as the small ship you owned, since Starfleet found you too old for duty by now, this was the one place that would forever be home to you. And although you knew that after your death, your husband and  bondmate would probably go back to active duty or would even follow his father’s path into diplomacy, now that he had licked blood of it when dealing with the Klingons, you couldn’t help but feeling at peace. 

With Spock, your plants, your family and the newest addition to the family, a fire breathing dog with a horn and antennae, you could look back on your life and feel nothing but love and gratitude. It was funny what a lockdown could lead to. And looking back, you wouldn’t have missed that pandemic for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it, folks. 
> 
> I might write a bonus chapter about their time in our era, but that depends on real life events happening right now. If there is something happening that the two need to react to, I might add a chapter. But no promises here. In general this story is done. Thanks for your attention and support :)


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